Four years, four months the ideal relationship age gap?

Life & Style

Mar 12 2013 12:36PM

 

Is there an acceptable age gap when it comes to relationships? Picture: AFP

 

Is there an ideal age gap when it comes to relationships? A survey says four years, four months, with the man being older.

The survey conducted by Confused.com and sent to about 2,000 adults, men and women, revealed that 40% preferred a 3 to 4 year age difference while 30%  saying 5 to 6 gap is ideal.

About 1% of women said they would rather date a younger man and 2% of men said they preferred a woman older than them.

“Age gap relationships are becoming more and more common because of the greater acceptance of the diversity of couples and families,” relationship counsellor Julia Cole was quoted by Daily Mail as saying.

Despite favouring a relationship with an older man, the women surveyed also admitted that they do judge women who date older men with 18% saying the relationship won’t last, FemaleFirst.co.uk reported.

"If the age gap is fairly wide - more than ten years - and the relationship grows into a commitment, it is important to talk about attitudes to money, expectations of family life and what parents, siblings and friends will think about an older partner in their life as well as yours,’ Cole added.
However, regardless of age differences, long lasting relationships require work.
Keep the spark alive

As we keep evolving as individuals, it will get difficult to maintain the spark in a relationship. Changing expectations from life and the pressures of modern lifestyles also strain ties. To keep the spark alive, one needs to constantly work at it. Here's what you can do.

Explore yourself:

If you are busy finding faults with your partner, without considering how you may have changed, too, it will harm the relationship. You make an effort first. Do small things to make your partner happy.

Grow together:

Every phase comes with fresh excitement and responsibilities. Discuss your inhibitions with each other. At various stages, you will discover different aspects of yourself, your partner and your relationship. Grow not only as individuals, but even as partners. It's important to learn from mistakes and appreciate each other's strengths.

Expectations create havoc:

It's impossible not to have expectations, but being a bit realistic and lenient can go a long way. Also, focus on your partner's strengths, not weaknesses.

Take time out:

Spend time with each other doing fun things, like you would have done during the initial days of your relationship. Invest time.

Build intimacy:

Touching, holding hands, cuddling and kissing help re-build intimacy. Saying 'I love you', 'I am sorry' and 'I miss you' go a long way. These words, when taken for granted and unuttered, widen the gap in a relationship.

Blame game:

Avoid blame games to resolve conflicts. On the contrary, it worsens the situation.