Things Every Man Should Learn To Do by dan written by Chris Ihidero
There
are attributes that we should all posses; attributes that will lead to
attitudes that will foster better relationship with other men and of
course, women.
This list is in no way exhaustive;
1. Learn to say:
I love you. I am sorry. I forgive you, after you have learnt to say
please and thank you. Say nothing more afterwards. If you are not
absolutely sure, never make these 3 statements. It is better to hurt her
honestly than deceive her with a lie.
2. Cry: Yeah, cry. I know
what you are thinking: ‘Cry? How?! Isn’t that what sissies do? A real
man doesn’t cry, simple!’ Not exactly bro. Have you ever wondered why
women tend to like vulnerable men? No, I don’t mean you should cry at
the drop of a hat or turn into the mythical bush baby constantly crying
for his mat. But there’s a reason musicians who sing about their
vulnerability fill concert halls…Banky W‘s ‘My Regret and Don’t Break My
Heart, as well as Darey‘s ‘You’re Not the Girl’ and ‘No Stars‘ are
constant on every request list on night shows on radio.
Women have a
natural maternal instinct that makes them want to take care of men; it
you refuse to let her see your vulnerable side, you don’t know what
you’re missing.
3. Listen: Yeah, shut up and listen. When people
open up to talk to you, they seldom need you to tell anything; they just
need someone to listen. You will not die suddenly from listening and
not saying anything. Also, don’t monopolise discussions. It’s not always
about you. Shut up and listen.
4. Ask for Help: Trust me, asking
for help does not reduce the size of your manhood. It is absolutely
fine to throw your hands in the air and scream for your friends and
family to come to your aid when push comes to shove. Yes, be careful who
you ask but if you are not surrounded by people you can ask, perhaps
you have failed in cultivating useful relationships? Or, perhaps you
love being asked for assistance but won’t ask others so you can lord it
over them? Shame on you; that’s stuff for kids. Grow up.
5.
Dance: Have you ever seen a woman who didn’t find a man that can dance
sexy?! Are you a learner? Get back in good terms with your feet bro,
dancing raises your chances by 101%. I confess to possessing 2 left legs
but when the 3rd bottle of Star kicks in, the dance miraculously takes
over. Rediscover your rhythm, make any dance space your temple and
they’ll come worship…
6. Kick Bottom: Talk to the waiter with
respect; don’t verbally or physically abuse people who work for/with
you; be kind to those who seek your assistance; talk to women and other
men as you would expect to be spoken to. But, when the need arises, kick
Bottom. Kick it so hard that the mere thought of how you kick someone’s
Bottom will put the fear of God in others that they will ensure they
don’t do anything that would require you to kick Bottom. Do it sparingly
but be bloody good at it.
7. Name your poison. Vodka on the
rocks, double, neat. That’s how a man orders his poison. If you cannot
name your poison with clarity, how can you be trusted with giving
precise instructions or making important decisions?
8. Read an
important book: Yes, the Bible, Quran or the Bhagavad Gita are important
texts, if you’re a man of faith. But you will find yourself in many
important settings where the discussion will not be about religion. Read
an important book; test the waters of knowledge, agree with what you
find illuminating, question everything.
9. Cook a meal. It
doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. A simple meal will be equally
appreciated, although plain Indomie noodles does not count. She knows
you can’t cook to save your life but she loves that you can make an
effort. It’s the effort that counts, really.
10. Be loyal to
something or someone: Loyalty goes a long way, in many ways. Be loyal to
a brand, a pet, a football club, a place, a clothing label, an
artiste…or somebody. If there’s nothing and no one you can practically
die for, who or what do you live for?
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