NOVEMBER 16, 2014 BY JAYNE AUGOYE
Mr. & Mrs.Oguamanam
Uduak, a Nollywood producer cum scriptwriter, is married to Chidi Oguamanam, a medical doctor. They talk about their marriage
How did you meet your wife?
Chidi: She was a patient in the hospital, where I worked and we hooked up later. I was not meant to be on duty the day we met but I was simply covering up for someone who was supposed to be on duty. I found her in one of the wards and some years after, we walked down the aisle.
Didn’t you find it awkward?
Uduak: No, it wasn’t awkward. He didn’t just go straight to the point. I had a terrible experience with a doctor who treated me earlier and when Chidi came in, I thought within me: ‘if he went to a mushroom university, he shouldn’t just touch me. This was because I had been discharged and then, I got worse. I was angry and communicated it to him but he responded that he attended University of Ibadan (where I also attended). We became friendly and dated for two years before we tied the knot.
When did you realise he was Mr. Right?
Uduak: He used to run a shop where he sold mobile phones and there had been a recurring theft. One day, someone broke into the shop and the thief was caught. Chidi beat the thief to a stupor and everybody begged him to stop. He said he was a doctor but would treat the thief after dealing with him. From that moment, I said I was going to marry him.
Chidi: We spoke a lot on many occasions. First, I am a businessman and realised that she has everything to make a man move. She was, and still is, very intelligent and I said we could do this together. She is quite humble as well.
How did he propose?
Uduak: I don’t have any fond memories of him proposing and I don’t know how he did it.
Chidi: I proposed but in the informal way. I did on the day it dawned on me that it was time to be responsible. We were in her room discussing and I wasn’t just asking her. I was telling her I was going to get married to her because I knew it was time and we were right for each day.
Did you face any resistance from her family?
Chidi: I was welcomed to their home because I had been there to make my intention known to her parents. The reception was quite nice and I loved the environment. Also, I enjoyed talking to them. We automatically struck a friendly chord when we met for the first time.
Uduak: I might have been skeptical at first but his mother was very warm. I knew his siblings as well because I had dated him for a while. I enjoyed a cool relationship with all of them.
What was the attraction?
Uduak: He likes money and he’s also hardworking. Even if there is no Nollywood again, I know that he will provide for me and the family. He is very supportive of what I do and not as fussy as some men. I remember sometimes when we went to shooting a film in a couple’s house and the woman let us in. When the husband returned in the evening, he made a lot of noise and I wondered what kind of man he was. We had to go to my home to complete the shoot. Meanwhile, when my husband returned home, all he said was, ‘You guys have taken over my house,’ and he went inside the room and looked for where to sleep. My husband doesn’t make a big deal of all these things. He is a man.
Chidi: She is a very good woman, a wife, very enterprising and takes to correction even though she would argue. She does whatever you ask her to do but sometimes, you have to repeat it. She is a good mother and I know it will be difficult to find anybody that fits the bill.
Who apologises first after a disagreement?
Uduak: I am first to apologise and he knows this. He apologises in different ways— he can buy what I love or do something he hasn’t done in a long while. I don’t like confrontations and when everything is uptight, if saying sorry can solve the problem; I am quick to say it.
Chidi: I really don’t apologise that much and it is not about ego. There is nothing wrong in me saying it but sometimes, I am carried away with business that I do not remember to apologise or even remember that there was a problem. Sometimes, I return home and remember there was a problem and I quickly rush out and buy her something she loves. She loves suya (barbecued beef) and by the time I bring it back home, all quarrels are resolved.
Do you run a joint account?
No, we don’t; but our Automated Teller Machine cards have the same pin. Therefore, either of us can withdraw at any time.
How do you create time to spend with each other and then, the children?
Chidi: It is very difficult because we are both very busy. We often make time out before they go to school. We try to spend time with them even though I am doing so much and she does even more. Her job takes her out a lot. I also run a clinic but whenever I am not busy, we spend time together as a family.
Uduak: I am not that sociable and I don’t really make many films. When I am not on set, I am home. We also go on family vacations from time to time.
How do you manage the fact that you are both into different professions?
Uduak: Ironically, he is more outgoing than I am and was also sociable while in the university. He has always been into entertainment.
Chidi: I am the outgoing type and also love entertainment. I always loved events and have a lot of friends. Because she is into something that allows her meet a lot of people, I push her to go out. I have always done things outside medicine; I was into event planning and even travelled to China to learn how to repair phones. It was good business at the time.
How would you describe marriage?
Uduak: Marriage has some rough patches but it entails understanding each other and deciding that you are going to make your marriage work.
Chidi: It is a wonderful thing and it is good for everybody to get married if they can. It entails a lot of letting go of unimportant things.
Are you bothered about the spate of crashed celebrity marriages?
Uduak: I don’t really consider myself a celebrity not until people mention it. The fact is celebrity marriages do work and succeed. Ours is a perfect example. Also, I don’t think divorce is limited only to celebrities. Any marriage, irrespective of celebrity status or not, can crash. Celebrities are just out there for all to see. The divorce rate is about the society. In the olden days, couples were more patient and tolerant of one another.
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