October 11, 2012 by Ugodre
Obi-Chukwu (ugodre@googlemail.com
Seun had just received a
mouth-watering offer from a multinational organisation with an head office in
Lagos. Her salary package would include a brand new car, an apartment in Ikoyi,
and yearly-all-expenses paid holiday for her, her spouse and two relatives. Her
monthly take-home pay will be triple what she currently earns. It’s a dream job
and one she should not reject yet, she fretfully stared at the letter as she
was chauffeured on her way home from work. As juicy as the offer was, it came
with one caveat…no two people from the same family can work there at the same
time. Her hubby had been a member of staff of the company for some years now
and was also forging an impressive career for himself until this sudden
dilemma.
The scenario painted above is what
most organisations refer to as “Policy on Connubial Relationships”. How many of
us find ourselves in such a precarious situation and how do we handle it? Would
you let your spouse resign for you? Would you resign for your spouse? Who’s
career is more important, his or hers? As usual, the best way to deal with
situations like this is to draw from the experience of those who had faced such
situations. Some workplaces are so demanding; employees have no other form of
meeting people except in the office. They end up falling in love only to face
the snag of deciding whom to resign first, should they wish to marry. In some
organisations, such policies are instituted belatedly leaving spouses in a
quandary of who should step down for the other.
Issues like this typically cause
disaffection and if not handled properly can lead to a break-up in marriage.
From a financial standpoint, decision-making in the case highlighted above is
easier if quitting the job in favour of your spouse will result in the family
income being higher than what it currently is. Decisions like this also border
on mutual understanding between the husband and wife and on the basis that
whatever decision they take is in the best interest of the family. For example,
if she accepts the job on the basis of the income being higher, could the
setback in the career of the husband be a costly price? There are issues that
are beyond financial gains that should also be taken into consideration.
Mr. and Mrs. Cole for example, once
found themselves in a similar situation. In their case, they met in the
organisation at a time when the policy was already in existence. They got
married and the wife resigned immediately. Her husband was in a much more
elevated position in the organisation and so they thought it was best she
resigned. She soon had children and as time went by found it hard to get a job
as most employers felt she had lost so much time she was out of touch with
industry environment. Her husband being a very busy man was hardly around
making her so miserable she almost fell into depression. To address the
situation, which was threatening their marriage, the husband soon set her up
with a small business where she sells dresses and toys for kids.
What if you do not have the finance
to support your spouse if she decides to start a business? It is therefore
important for the couple to take time to plan before deciding who is to resign.
Is there a plan ‘B’ should employment become unavailable? Is it easier for me
to get another job than my spouse despite my elevated position in the
organisation? Is my wife better off nurturing a career whilst I look elsewhere
as I have a better qualification and experience to get another job? Whilst it
is financially and occupationally expedient for a spouse not to resign, it is
equally important that you weigh the chances of getting another job for the
spouse resigning.
In the event that the spouse who
resigns prefers to remain self-employed, then the other half must ensure full
cooperation and support. Support can be moral, financial and even professional.
For example, the spouse who remains in employment can use his or her influence
to help the unemployed spouse get another job. You can help your husband get
briefs should he resign and decide to choose a career in consulting. Similarly,
you can also help your wife with professional advice and financial support
should she decide to set out as an entrepreneur.
Seun did take the job on the insistence of her
husband who believed she was better positioned to accept the job in view of her
blossoming career. He resigned and for the next 12 months searched for another
job in vain until he decided it was time to set out on his own
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