Who should manage the family’s finances?
Many homes seem to have experienced financial difficulties one time or the other due to poor money management.
When I was growing up, I often heard of
families where the man was the neighbourhood drunk, and one of the ways
you knew the man has received his salary is when he orders drinks for
everyone at the bar and spends the night in the gutter.
He would get so drunk that he could not
make his way home successfully, ending up in the gutter. Often, village
youths who know the drill will follow him to the gutter and help him
empty his pockets. He usually staggers home at the break of dawn with a
hangover and empty pockets, ready to pick a fight when the wife dares
ask for housekeeping allowance.
In some instances, other women come into
the picture. The man maintains two homes with no clear plan for the
future. He becomes a rolling stone that gathers no moss. He works long
and hard but has nothing to show for his days of toiling.
A future dependent on pension
I have heard so many complaints from
wives about how the husband mismanages the family finances. The most
common complaint is that the husband has refused to build his own house
and has become comfortable as a tenant, in some cases to a much younger
landlord. In some cases, the man actually built, but in the village.
The house in the villages remains empty
attracting no rent while the family remain tenants in the city. Many
wives complain the husband has become so busy doing good to outsiders
while his household lacks. Apart from not having a place of their own
they can call home, the family has no emergency fund for the rainy day.
The family’s financial future is pinned
on a paltry pension whose regularity is not guaranteed. These wives feel
insecure, naked and exposed, and often look for what to do to protect
the family financially in case of the unexpected.
Saving for a rainy day
Often when the man loses his job, it is
the wife that comes to the rescue. In one case, it was the wife’s
collection of gold jewellery that saved the day in putting food on the
table and sending the children to school. Had the woman fallen for the
trap of gathering boxes of clothes, shoes and costume jewellery, the
family would have had to beg, and the children may have to drop out of
school and take to the street, trading to fend for the family.
Few men recognise the wisdom of saving
for the rainy day but are busy keeping up with the Joneses until the rug
is pulled from under their feet. They go on as if there is no tomorrow
but when the rainy day comes, they become helpless. It begins to seem
like the men have no sense while all the common sense resides with the
women.
My wife had rescued me many times from
dumb financial decisions in times past when financial illiteracy was my
middle name. Women seem to be blessed with superior discernment
abilities and can smell trouble miles away before men, who seem to wait
until they see the danger with their eyes, which is often too late.
Women seem to be able to smell phonies while men easily get carried away
by sight and appearances, especially if the other party is a pretty
female. I have gotten my fingers burnt when I forged ahead regardless of
warnings. In the early years of my marriage, I wanted to prove that I
am the man and do have my own mind. With the benefit of hindsight, I
have come to see that two good heads are better than one.
Are women better money managers than men?
Are all women good with money?
I believe the answer is yes and no. On
the whole, it may look like women are more mature when it comes to
handling money. They are in the front line when it comes to making sure
that the household is catered for. They are the ones the children cry to
when they are hungry or become sick etc. They are in the trenches while
the man may get caught up with the corporate world, football and
politics.
However, it is not all women who are
saints when it comes to handling money. Some women do not know when to
apply the brakes when it comes to clothes, shoes, jewellery, even mobile
phones. Some wives pester the living daylights out of their husband
when a new phone hits the market. Some men do not trust their wives with
their ATM cards. Some men have had to settle debts (gbese) piled up by
their wives. Such women love to be in the happening crowd. They have
their own clique and club. Their asoebi is first class; you need to
shell out a hundred thousand naira or more to belong. Membership is by
invitation only. If your husband is not loaded, you have to steer clear.
They travel to the US, London, Paris, Dubai etc to do their shopping
and spare no expenses to belong to the top class.
The rainy day can wait, today must be
lived to the fullest. Some husbands, for the sake of peace, give in to
their wives and wipe out their savings on the latest automobiles, exotic
holidays etc. The husband makes the money while the wife spends it.
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