Sunday and Toyin Adewale
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Toyin
Adewale is a popular Nollywood (Yoruba) actress. She has been married
to her husband,Sunday for 20 years. They share the pains and gains of
marriage
How did you both find yourselves in entertainment industry?
Sunday: We met in school, Rimax
Institute, where I studied theatre arts. I was in diploma class when she
enrolled as a fresher. At that time and till date, she stands out among
her peers and she is very pretty. When I got closer to her, I realised
that she is intelligent and industrious. At that time, I was involved in
some kind of craft apart from acting. She advised me to concentrate
more on doing the craft, which she sold at her mother’s shop and
returned the proceeds to me. All these endeared her to me and I had to
make her understand I did not just want to date her; I was interested in
having her as my wife. That was about 24 years ago. We dated for four
years and then got married. That means we have been married for 20
years.
Did you give him a tough time when he was wooing you?
Toyin: No. When I met him, I
realised he was good at his profession. I did not even entertain fears
about dating someone in the industry because I was quick to realise he
is from a good home like me.
How did he propose to you?
Toyin: It was nothing special. Just the normal I-want-to-marry-you talk. It was not like the way it is done now.
Was there any opposition from your families?
Toyin: There was some form of
opposition from my family. My father felt I should get married to
somebody that had a better job like a lawyer or a doctor. He did not
understand why I wanted to marry an entertainer. Then, entertainers were
not perceived as serious-minded people and they were not respected. I
had to convince my father that I love this man. My father proved
stubborn but I stood my ground.
Did you stop your wife from acting after you got married?
Sunday: Men who do that are not
real. They do not have the interest of their wives at heart. If they do,
they will even allow their children to join the industry. It is not a
new thing. Some men object to it because of one or two atrocities they
might have committed with women. They fear their past haunting them. In
addition, if a man understands the industry, he will not even worry
about men admiring his wife. If you do not want anybody to admire your
wife, go and marry an ugly woman. Even ugly women have admirers. What is
required is a deep sense of understanding. A woman should know that she
is in the profession to make money and not to meet men.
Do you follow her to locations?
Sunday: If we are not working on
the same set, then I do not think I need to be there. However, if I feel
she has spent so much time on set and I am missing her, then I can
visit the set to see my wife and nobody stops me from visiting her at
locations. She also comes to locations to visit me when I am working.
Have you been on the same set before?
Sunday: That has happened many
times and even recently, we were on the set of soap, ‘The Journey,’
together where we acted as husband and wife. It is fun working together
and I do not treat her any differently from other cast. If maybe she
does not get her lines right, I shout at her and we quarrel about that a
lot. In fact, I am harsher on her and she will tell me later that I did
not have to shout on her in the presence of everybody. I just tell her
it is because I want the best out of her.
Are there any challenges in your marriage?
Sunday: For me, there are no
challenges because we understand and trust each other. My wife is mine
and I am her husband. I am not even intimidated by men who compliment
her. It only re-affirms the fact that I have an eye for beautiful
things.
How did you cope when the kids started coming?
Toyin: After I had my first
child, I took a break from acting to take care of him. God has given me
the grace to be a wife, mother and an actress. My first baby is almost
21, the second is 18, and my third is will be six years old. I also have
strong family support and whenever I am on location; my home front is
taken care of. In addition, my husband and I have an arrangement whereby
whenever I am on set, he is at home and vice versa. Even if he has to
go out, he returns home early.
Celebrity marriages are known to suffer hiccups, how have you stayed married for 20 years?
Toyin: I always say that the fact
that I have been married for this long does not mean that I am perfect.
In addition, it is not the fault of celebrities whose marriages have
crashed. One thing or the other must have gone wrong. Twenty years of
marriage is God’s doing and not mine.
Are there roles she plays in movies which you don’t like?
Sunday: None because she knows
her boundaries. She knows what she shouldn’t do. Whatever will make
people condemn her character, she will not be part of it. She is a role
model to some people and she does not need to take certain roles
because she wants to prove to people that she can do it.
Do you consult your husband before you take any role?
Toyin: Yes I do. When I don’t feel too comfortable with the script, I tell him and he advises me.
Recently you renewed your marraige vows…
Toyin: It was a way of thanking
God because no one believed in this industry; one could be in a marriage
for this long. We had to tell our fans that actors can also keep a home
even though it is not a bed of roses. It was also our first child’s
20th birthday, my 25th year anniversary as an actor and then we have a
television programme which was also rebranded.
Who is the first to apologise when there are disagreements?
Toyin: Women are stubborn, so he
is quick to apologise. That was one of the things which attracted him to
me because I know he has a forgiving heart and he is always ready to
say sorry. He does not want our home to break up. He keeps telling me I
am not going anywhere and I will remain his wife. He also buys me gifts
but it does not necessarily have to be something expensive.
How do you unwind?
Toyin: Whenever we are free, we go on vacations without the kids. Sometimes, we take them along.
Is she romantic?
Sunday: I am more romantic than
she is. She knows that but she won’t admit it. Even though I am an
African man, we have our way of expressing our love to our women.
Do you have pet names for each other?
Sunday: I am an African man. I can call her Iya wa
(our mother) or Iya Mayowa (Mayowa’s mother) or I call her by her name
but when I am angry with her, I call her by her old name, Bunmi. Once I
call her that, she knows I am very angry.
What advice would you give to young couples?
Toyin: They must love each other
and the wife has to be submissive because no matter what happens, the
husband is the head of the home. Also, they have to be prayerful because
they would face challenges from time to time.
Sunday: Pray to have money
because if there is no money in that home, the challenges might become
too tough to handle. There could be love at the beginning but when you
can’t pay children’s fees, house rent etc that marriage would be heading
for the rocks. If there is money, you will enjoy your marriage.
Marriage without money will be disastrous.
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