For us to experience bliss in our relationship, I have carefully outline
the mistakes we need to avoid. Mistakes are inevitable as it is
commonly said but it can be avoided when we observe the pointers that
can prevent us from making a regrettable one. Carefully read through the
following mistakes to avoid.
1. Don't assume your partner would know how you feel
Communicate your feelings. Many people think their
partner
should know how they feel, what they are thinking of and their mood.
However, this usually does not work as we think. Find the right avenue
to discuss how you feel. Assumption does not solve issues it only
compound problems.
2. Never expect much from your relationship
Failure
to meet your expectations could bring about disappointments. A lot of
people usually expect their partner to satisfy all their needs. For
instance, your partner cannot give you joy no matter how caring or
affectionate they might be. If your joy is not from the inside, no one
else can make you joyful. Don't make your expectations high. They are
human and cannot meet all. But when you have low expectations, you won't
have much of heartache or emotional trauma.
3. Avoid cheating on your partner
Try
as much as possible to confide in them emotionally and sexually and
remain faithful. Don't keep anyone as your confidant other than your
spouse. Cheating destroys the trust and happiness in a relationship.
Stay away from all avenues to cheat on your partner.
4. Avoid playing the blame game
Blame
does no good to a relationship or one's partner other than frustrate
life out of them. When you blame your partner, it shows that you are
shelving your responsibility off you. Be courageous and bold enough to
be responsible for your actions. Also, rather than blame, mutually
discuss any issues that can affect your partner or the relationship.
5. Don't promise what you cannot fulfill. Only do what is within your limit
As
people seek to be loved or accepted in a relationship, they often tend
to magnify their capacities. Hence, this will make them dishonest or
feel unworthy with their partner. In a bid to be accepted, do what you
can do and promise what you can fulfill.
6. Don't dwell on residual knowledge
A
lot of us usually believe we have what it takes to handle our
relationship in terms of knowledge and wisdom. But we often dwell on our
residual knowledge and this will not help us. We need more experiences
and ideas from people who have practical and proven knowledge about
relationships. Read books, attend seminars and listen to educative
programs. This will equip you with the knowledge to handle your
relationship.
7. Don't do it alone, involve God
It
is believed that a threefold cord is not easily broken. Who you share
intimacy with in your relationship determines the strength of your
relationship. Most of us involve friends, parent or colleagues in our
relationship but their contribution usually affects us negatively. When
you involve God in the affairs of your relationship, He will give you
the strength and wisdom to handle any issues. Don't believe you can do
it successfully without God.
8. Don't try to make a wrong relationship work
After
seeing warning signals, most people blindly remain in their
relationship thinking they can make it work. An abusive partner may not
change even if you do all you can. Be sensitive to use your head and
heart in determining the real nature of your partner. Don't be carried
away by a show of affection or love. They are not genuine. Don't waste
your time and resources on making a wrong relationship work. It is
better to have a broken engagement than to build on a faulty
relationship.
9. Don't just profess love but express it
Love
is best practiced when it is not only professed but expressed. It is
expressed in words and deeds through sacrifice and commitment. Don't
just say "I Love You", say it when you mean it and when you need to
reaffirm your vows to your partner.
10. Don't remain as you are
Work
to improve yourself in all areas of your life. Develop your emotional,
spiritual, financial and mental life. Stagnancy sucks relationship and
slowpoke its growth. Endeavor to be matured emotionally as this would
save you from being hurt or pained. Maturity creates a level of
independence for you in your relationship. Don't remain immature this
year.
11. Don't be suspicious
Suspicion creates a
form of doubt and negative image of the person that is suspected. It
breeds worry and fear even if it lack an element of truth. When you
become suspicious, it will affect the trust level of your relationship.
Don't create an avenue to be suspected rather discuss any issues that
can lead to suspicion. Be open in discussion and avoid secrecy.
12. Don't dwell on falsehood
"You
shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". There are many
people who are envious of your relationship and the only way to ruin it
is when they say untrue things about it. Don't hold on to lies,
falsehood or untrue statement; however, seek to know the truth from your
partner by communicating effectively. Don't react to hearsay but find
the truth.
13. Avoid becoming impatient
It takes
patience to make relationship work. Impatience causes a lot of havoc
such as anger, abuse, nagging and other issues. There are some issues
that can be solved amicably with "I'm sorry" but impatience will magnify
it. Cultivate patience in your lifestyle and relationship. Patience
does not mean you are silly or weak, it only shows your level of
maturity.
14. Avoid living a false life
Many people
live less than their true self by trying to please others. This will
make them function less than their original self. Try to be yourself and
live your best. It is better that you are accepted the way you are than
to be accepted for who you are not. Don't make the mistake of living a
false life, it shows you lack originality and stability.
Mistakes
can be avoided in your relationship when you follow the necessary
steps. Don't live in assumption but talk out isses, don't be suspicious
but clarify any element of doubt, don't live a false life but be your
real self. Never cheat on your partner but ensure to remain faithful to
your promises. A single mistake can affect the success of your
relationship. Endeavor to avoid it as much as you can.
May your relationship be successful and full of joy this New Year. Remember, issues are inevitable but can be limited.
If you feel the list is incomplete, feel free to share your views so others can learn.
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