How to protect your wife

February 3, 2014 by Dr. Biodun Ogungbo

   

 

Dr. Biodun Ogungbo

The next time you look at your wife, please look carefully. Is she appealing and alluring? How has she changed since you met? Is she now big bottom and large-breasted? Has she matured and aged gracefully or there are issues to discuss? Is she a dream come true, or are you concerned about her weight? Are you worried about her health? You should, unless you have other plans! Oh, or other wives!

It is actually your responsibility as a husband who swore to serve and protect your loved one till death do you part. Do you still remember that?

A great story

The story sounds incredible and unbelievable. A man felt a lump in his wife’s breasts and thought it was unreal. Is she pregnant? No. Breast-feeding? No.

“So, what did you do?” he was asked.

“I sent her to the village to see the herbalist. There is a man in our village who specialises in breast cancer treatment. He has been treating many women,” the husband replied.

On  getting to the treatment centre, it was, indeed, true. There were many women there being treated for cancer of the breast. The herbalist was, however, not there. He had gone to the hospital for treatment of his prostate cancer! So, the wife returned to the hospital for treatment.

Now, when was the last time you encouraged your wife to undergo a full medical examination of her breasts and cervix as routine for cancer screening?

Breast examination and regular checks for lumps and bumps are important. Similarly, routine pap-smear in women is crucial in prevention of cervical cancer. This is carried out in hospitals such as Medicaid Radiodiagnostics Centre and Arewa Specialist Hospital, in Abuja. Every woman should have her own personal gynaecologist who knows her intimately and can help in the fight against cancers below the belt. Ensure your wife has one and encourage regular visits to the specialist.

It is on record that women with big boobs are at higher risk of developing breast cancer: especially because it is difficult to feel lumps in big breasts. This makes it particularly important for them to undergo regular breast examination and screening with mammogram.

Protect your wife from cancer

I know it is not really your fault if your wife develops cancer, but you can help with education, information and increased awareness. You have my permission to feel your wife’s breasts on a regular basis. Feel for lumps or anything unusual, different or of concern. You can also help by being supportive and encouraging her to see the specialist regularly. You can help by making sure she does not rely on herbalists and faith healers for fake deliverance. These people cannot help you.

Protect your wife from HIV

I met this gentleman following a diagnosis of brain tumour. He was in bad shape and did not give the impression he would last the day. He didn’t. However, the critical diagnosis was that the brain tumour was caused by HIV/AIDS. The critical fact was that he was diagnosed with HIV a few years previously and had refused to accept it. He refused medications and had been praying feverishly since then.

He told his brother and family but not his wife, though he continued to make love to her with reckless abandon and without protection. So, you can imagine her shock when the final diagnosis was confirmed as a brain tumour due to rampant AIDS. Even worse was that the family said she gave it to him! Of course, so they can kick her and her children out of the home and take their brother’s property.

Similarly, you may have read the recent story in The PUNCH about a woman who caught HIV while going to herbalists and churches looking to get pregnant. She may have been infected in the scarification ceremonies by the herbalists using an infected needle. She eventually became pregnant but got HIV as well. The story was that she was driven to it by the family who were pushing for her husband to marry a second wife as she remained barren.

There are two stories and two different problems here. But men do harm to their wives by being deceptive and hiding vital information. HIV is one serious condition that merits prevention through safe sexual practices, routine checks, early diagnosis, serious consistent treatment and protection of your loved ones. The second issue, of course, is sorting out the extended family and gently asking your parents and siblings to keep their noses out of your business. My wife says, and I quote, “What is mine is mine and what is yours is mine!”

How to save your wife?

You decide. Read the article and digest it. Then read it again to decide on a plan of action. Search out a credible general practitioner and a specialist for your family. Plan to have regular medical check-ups. Keep all the records and results of tests; and understand what the numbers mean. Deal with any issues immediately and ensure you get the right result and the care you deserve.

Finally, I am not going to preach about writing a will. It is not worth the paper it’s written on without an intellectual police force and a credible judiciary in Nigeria. Everything and everyone is under God’s protection.