Everybody has that one relationship they forever regret ending - the one that, after doing a lot more dating, they realize was actually pretty great. If you ask anyone why they ended those relationships, you can probably expect to hear one of these reasons. Here are 7 common things women feel should mark the end of a relationship that usually should not.
1. He won't move in with you yet
A lot of women have a sort of a timeline for their relationship. They believe that by some particular year (for many women it’s between year 1 and year 3) they should be moved in with their boyfriend. However, if the man fails to suggest it, or even rejects the idea when they bring it up, many women will call it quits.
Why it doesn’t have to end:
Men think about the big picture more than you give them credit for. And a lot of men, rather than thinking, “We’ve been dating for three whole years” think, “We have only been together three out of the 60-something years we might be together.” And when you look at it that way, waiting another year or two, if it could keep the relationship together, is worth it. By the way, why not to enjoy a little more time having a place all to yourself? Probable, it will be the last time you ever do.
2. He won’t introduce you to his family yet
Women feel more pressure than men when the question of marriage arises. If they a particular age still unmarried, they become less attracted as partners. So a woman is ready to bring a guy home after just a few months of dating, just to show her family, “Hey! Look! I won’t end up alone.” However, men usually need much more time to introduce their partners to parents. Thus, many women think the guy’s just not serious about them.
Why it doesn’t have to end:
Women are far more comfortable leaning on their family during emotionally trying times like, say, during a breakup. So they don’t mind their family knowing about every relationship that begins and ends. But men often either don’t feel comfortable turning to their family during a breakup, or don’t think it’s a burden they should put on their family, so in order for them to take a woman home, they need to feel pretty certain it’s the woman they’ll marry. Meanwhile females don’t need to know they’ll marry a male to take him home: they just need to believe they can be happy for a few years for now. But for men, bringing a woman home is his subtle way of saying, “She’s the one.” That’s worth waiting for.
3. He won’t propose yet
And here we touch upon timeline again: a lot of women believe that if a man doesn’t propose by some particular year x, he’s just never going to. And they believe that if a guy goes silent when the subject of marriage comes up, he’ll definitely never propose.
Why it doesn’t have to end:
The truth is that women are usually always certain of their feelings for a guy long before the men are certain of their feelings for a woman. You know it’s true: you probably had to hold back your giddiness about your guy in the first few months - or even a year - until his enthusiasm caught up. But then, when he was in, he was all in. Almost every woman feels ready to marry her partner before her partner feels ready to marry her. Your man is normal, there is nothing wrong about it. So long as he talks about the far away future with you comfortably, there’s nothing to worry about.
4. You’re consumed by insecurities
Hey, we’re all head-trips. We all down-spiral into these hurricanes of insecurities, thinking that our partner would be better suited with a woman the complete opposite of ourselves, thinking we’ll turn out just like our mothers and our marriage will turn out just like our parents’, thinking we’ll get fat the moment we get married. Many women get so consumed by insecurities, but are far too proud to bring them up to their partner, so, rather than live in turmoil, they just end the relationship, leaving a very confused man behind.
Why it doesn’t have to end:
Well, your boy has seen enough chick flicks you’ve dragged him to to know that women have those thoughts. He won’t think you need to be committed to the psych ward if you share your insecurities with him. If he loves you, he’ll do what’s within his means to ease those insecurities. And you know what? You’ll have those insecurities with anybody you date, so it’d be a shame to walk away from a great guy, only to date a sea of mediocre men, who will still elicit those feelings.
5. You don’t feel excited all the time
Feelings of infatuation are some of the greatest in the world. You always feel like your partner is on the exact same wavelength as you - he’s tired when you are, happy when you are, horny when you are, depressed when you are. You think, “This is what life is for! This is what marriage is supposed to be like!” So, when you suddenly feel out of sync with your partner, it’s easy to think the excitement was all hormones, and this is the wrong guy.
Why it doesn’t have to end:
We’re all subject to the same chemicals and hormones, and studies have found there is in fact an infatuation phase that ends (at around 2 or 3 years) and while that can be a let down, it only feels bad for a little bit: you’re just comparing how it is to that euphoria it used to be, so of course that will depress you. But if you stick it out, and focus on having good conversations with your partner, and doing things that you bond over, you can actually reach a new, deeper kind of excitement.
6. You feel your career is stifled
A lot of women are very driven when they’re single, but when they fall in love, something happens. Suddenly, there’s a boyfriend to see instead of attending another networking event. And suddenly it seems like it’s either got to be the boyfriend or career.
Why it doesn’t have to end:
Newsflash: this is just a problem of being self-disciplined! And if you’re not, you’ll always find something to hold you back from your career, from your social life to traveling to a new dog. A good, healthy relationship can actually enhance your career. If you bounce ideas off your partner, and lay down ground rules about days and hours you need to set aside to work, you can be mentally energized by your relationship and thrive in your work.
7. His career is stifled
There’s something so appealing about the creative, entrepreneurial types — until they are turned down the twelfth time for a grant, or they have to move into their parent’s place to save money on rent and save up capital. Some women can start to feel they’ll face a life of struggle with a partner like this, and leave.
Why it doesn’t have to end:
Guess what? A guy with a totally “stable” job could be in his parent’s house at the blink of an eye. There’s no such thing as a “stable” job—there’s only such thing as stable passion and ambition. And a man who has those will always find a way to succeed. And you know what? They tend to be happier than the guy at the “stable” job that he couldn’t care less about. If you want to be somebody’s wife one day, you’ll have to wait out hard times. So long as your partner is actually trying his hardest every day, start practicing patience now.
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