How to protect your wife

February 3, 2014 by Dr. Biodun Ogungbo

   

 

Dr. Biodun Ogungbo

The next time you look at your wife, please look carefully. Is she appealing and alluring? How has she changed since you met? Is she now big bottom and large-breasted? Has she matured and aged gracefully or there are issues to discuss? Is she a dream come true, or are you concerned about her weight? Are you worried about her health? You should, unless you have other plans! Oh, or other wives!

It is actually your responsibility as a husband who swore to serve and protect your loved one till death do you part. Do you still remember that?

A great story

The story sounds incredible and unbelievable. A man felt a lump in his wife’s breasts and thought it was unreal. Is she pregnant? No. Breast-feeding? No.

“So, what did you do?” he was asked.

“I sent her to the village to see the herbalist. There is a man in our village who specialises in breast cancer treatment. He has been treating many women,” the husband replied.

On  getting to the treatment centre, it was, indeed, true. There were many women there being treated for cancer of the breast. The herbalist was, however, not there. He had gone to the hospital for treatment of his prostate cancer! So, the wife returned to the hospital for treatment.

Now, when was the last time you encouraged your wife to undergo a full medical examination of her breasts and cervix as routine for cancer screening?

Breast examination and regular checks for lumps and bumps are important. Similarly, routine pap-smear in women is crucial in prevention of cervical cancer. This is carried out in hospitals such as Medicaid Radiodiagnostics Centre and Arewa Specialist Hospital, in Abuja. Every woman should have her own personal gynaecologist who knows her intimately and can help in the fight against cancers below the belt. Ensure your wife has one and encourage regular visits to the specialist.

It is on record that women with big boobs are at higher risk of developing breast cancer: especially because it is difficult to feel lumps in big breasts. This makes it particularly important for them to undergo regular breast examination and screening with mammogram.

Protect your wife from cancer

I know it is not really your fault if your wife develops cancer, but you can help with education, information and increased awareness. You have my permission to feel your wife’s breasts on a regular basis. Feel for lumps or anything unusual, different or of concern. You can also help by being supportive and encouraging her to see the specialist regularly. You can help by making sure she does not rely on herbalists and faith healers for fake deliverance. These people cannot help you.

Protect your wife from HIV

I met this gentleman following a diagnosis of brain tumour. He was in bad shape and did not give the impression he would last the day. He didn’t. However, the critical diagnosis was that the brain tumour was caused by HIV/AIDS. The critical fact was that he was diagnosed with HIV a few years previously and had refused to accept it. He refused medications and had been praying feverishly since then.

He told his brother and family but not his wife, though he continued to make love to her with reckless abandon and without protection. So, you can imagine her shock when the final diagnosis was confirmed as a brain tumour due to rampant AIDS. Even worse was that the family said she gave it to him! Of course, so they can kick her and her children out of the home and take their brother’s property.

Similarly, you may have read the recent story in The PUNCH about a woman who caught HIV while going to herbalists and churches looking to get pregnant. She may have been infected in the scarification ceremonies by the herbalists using an infected needle. She eventually became pregnant but got HIV as well. The story was that she was driven to it by the family who were pushing for her husband to marry a second wife as she remained barren.

There are two stories and two different problems here. But men do harm to their wives by being deceptive and hiding vital information. HIV is one serious condition that merits prevention through safe sexual practices, routine checks, early diagnosis, serious consistent treatment and protection of your loved ones. The second issue, of course, is sorting out the extended family and gently asking your parents and siblings to keep their noses out of your business. My wife says, and I quote, “What is mine is mine and what is yours is mine!”

How to save your wife?

You decide. Read the article and digest it. Then read it again to decide on a plan of action. Search out a credible general practitioner and a specialist for your family. Plan to have regular medical check-ups. Keep all the records and results of tests; and understand what the numbers mean. Deal with any issues immediately and ensure you get the right result and the care you deserve.

Finally, I am not going to preach about writing a will. It is not worth the paper it’s written on without an intellectual police force and a credible judiciary in Nigeria. Everything and everyone is under God’s protection.

Finding Success After 30 and Beyond and 6 People Who Have

by Chad

Today is October 19th, 2013. I’m sitting at a Starbucks down the street from my home in Los Angeles, CA trying to get a grip. I’m a month and a half away from my 31st birthday and I’m battling some serious self-doubt right now because I feel like I’m having a hard time finding success after 30.

I’ve felt like an utter failure for the last couple of days for various reasons, which makes me think about the failures of the last couple of weeks…then the failures of the last couple of months…then the failures of the last couple of years…and then all the failures in my life.

I feel like I haven’t done anything significant in my life to this point.

I’ll look at where I want to go, look at where I’m at, look at where I’ve come from and I’ll be like…DUUUUUUDE! It feels like I’m NEEEEEVVVER going to make it!

Then I see people like Warren Buffet, LeBron James, Steve Jobs, the 31-year old CEO at my previous company, some of my friends and the significance of what they’ve done, and it gets worse.

Maybe I’m being too hard on myself, but on occasion, especially when I’m tired, I can mentally self-destruct.

Have you ever gone through something like that, or am I the only one?

How self-destructive, selfish, useless, and untrue! I’m not a failure, and I have been successful, just maybe not in the way that I expect.

The good thing is, I feel like I haven’t even begun to touch on my potential to create significance and value in this life. I believe I have unlimited potential to do great things, but I have to just find the right place to put all of my energy… and I have to be patient.

Unfortunately, I do hit these little spells like I am today and I have to get past it. I guess I just don’t want to waste my next 10 years (or the next 69) on doing insignificant things.

So what did I do to get myself out of this selfish, useless, self-destructive mindset and feelings of insignificance at the age of 31? Well, I researched great people who found their significance at 30 or beyond.

The list is actually quite huge and includes people like Steve Carrell, Harrison Ford, Martha Stewart, Stan Lee, Adrea Bocceli, and Sylvester Stallone, but I want to focus on the 6 I felt were the most inspiring to me for finding success after 30.

Here is the top 6 that jolted me right out of my self-destructive, negative failure mindset and back into my positive “when the going get tough, the tough get going” mode. They made significance and success happen late life and so can I (and so can you):

1. J.K Rowling – She’s probably the most recent, well-known story of post-30 success that most of us know about. Seven years after graduating from college, Rowling described herself as the biggest failure she knew. Now, though, she has sold 400 million books and has won multiple awards.

2. Harland “Colonel” Sanders – At age 40, Sanders was running a crappy service station. At 65, a restaurant he started a few years earlier went bankrupt. Cashing his first social security check, and using everything he had, he began again and created Kentucky Fried Chicken. Within 10 years he had 600 franchises across the U.S. and Canada. Today there are more than 5,200 restaurants in the United States and more than 15,000 locations worldwide.

3. Dr. Seuss – He wrote some of my all-time favorite books (and cartoons). Seuss wrote his first book at the age of 34, which was rejected by 20 publishers. In his late 40′s he began writing children’s books. He eventually wrote 46 published books.

4. Robert Frost – He’s provided me with some of the most inspirational quotes, one of my favorites being “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” He sold his first poem at age 20 and for the next 10 years he unsuccessfully ran a farm. He didn’t publish his first collection of works until 39.

5. Julia Child – After college she worked as a copywriter, writing for local publications, and in advertising until the age of 29. She moved to Paris and was introduce to fine cuisine. She didn’t learn to cook until she was almost 40 and didn’t write her first bestselling book or launch her popular cooking show until she was 50.

6. John Paul DeJoria – He started out at Redken and was eventually fired. At the age of 36 he formed John Paul Mitchell systems on a $700 loan. Today he’s a billionaire, owning one of the world’s most recognizable hair brands…and he owns 70% of Patron Tequila.

Bonus: Diana Nyad – I’m adding this bonus because she’s an incredible inspiration to those that doubt “success” is attainable late in life. Diana Nyad dreamed of swimming from Cuba to Florida for three-and-a-half-decades. That’s 35 years! She failed four times before finally accomplishing what she sought out to do. The first words out of her mouth when she finally completed it? “You’re never too old to live your dreams.”

For some of us, life is just beginning in our 30’s, maybe even later. After going through the self-doubt and uncertainty, I knew I had to take action to fix my mentality and realize that finding success after 30 is definitely possible, helping me to continue working tirelessly toward my “big freakin’ dream.”

The solution was so simple. Find people who were already in my shoes and learn from them.

I was totally inspired, re-motivated, plus I realized how much potential I really have by reading each person’s story. Each one had different experiences to get to where they are, and they all struggled in some capacity, but they did what they needed to survive…and made it!

If you have a dream like I do and you’ve been bustin’ your a$$ to no avail, let these stories keep you going.

Our time might just be coming a little bit later…

…I believe the best years are just ahead.

Question: I would love your help for my future bouts of self-doubt. Do you ever have the feelings of self-doubt and insignificance like I was feeling, and what did you do to get past it? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

31 Life Lessons I Have Learned Over The Last 31 Years That Will Help Me Live A Happier, More Productive, And More Fulfilling Life

by Chad

I turn 31 (whoa!) on Thursday and, in my opinion, this marks the real beginning of my 30’s because it’s no longer the celebration of a new decade in life, but a rather sobering realization that my 40’s, and the notion of being “over-the-hill”, are coming up really, really quick.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for the next 9-10 years, but holy-Moses where did the time go!?
As I thought more and more about the significance of this particular birthday, more specifically how awesome the first 31 years of life have been and how quickly they went, I decided I wanted to make the next 31 years even happier, more productive, and more fulfilling than the first 31.
To do that, I thought about the 31 most important life lessons I’ve learned up to this point and how I must apply those lessons from here on out to make the next 31+ years the best ever.

So, without further ado, and in no particular order, here are the 31 life lessons I have learned over the last 31 years that I believe will help me live a happier, more productive and more fulfilling life.
After reading the list, make sure you add your two-cents in the comments section below by answering this question: How many of these lessons have you learned what lessons could you add to the list?

1.    Time Is Running Out Quickly: It took me a while to realize this, but our time here on earth is like a blink of an eye. I was about 25 when it dawned on me that life would be over before I knew it and I realized it’s imperative that I make the most of it. I plan on living until 100, therefore I now have 69 years left…and that’s not a lot of time.
…but as C.S. Lewis once said, “You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.”

2.    Be An Abundance Thinker: There’s only two ways to think, either in abundance or scarcity. Abundance thinking leads to success, happiness, and contentment and scarcity thinking leads to fear, worry, and disappointment. When I’m thinking in abundance I’m more resourceful, creative, positive, and effective in my daily life and on my journey towards my big freakin’ dream. Thinking in abundance will bring abundance.

“For a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” – King Solomon

3.    When You Fail Treat Yourself, When You Succeed Just Savor The Moment: I was given this advice when I was 23 by a 50 year old real estate professional at the time who was a millionaire by 21. I took him to lunch one day and he told me something I’ve always followed. He said, “Chad, when that $10,000 commission real estate deal falls through at the closing table, the first thing you do is go buy yourself the biggest and best steak you can find, no matter the cost. It will give you comfort and help you stand back up and get back in the ring. BUT! When that $10,000 commission real estate does go through, don’t do anything. Just savor the moment and don’t buy anything.  You’re already high enough from that win that you don’t need anything else.” I’ve followed that advice ever since, even when I was nearly broke. Made all the difference in helping me get back in the ring to fight.

4.    Past Failures Don’t Predict The Future…And Neither Do Successes: I have failed a lot, probably more than most. I have also succeeded. When I failed I would sometimes get down on myself and think that these failures were predicting a future life full of failure. It’s not true at all. In all honesty, I think past failure predicts more future success…that is unless the same mistakes are made twice. On the flip-side, past success doesn’t necessarily predict a future life full of success. Point here, just keeping working my ass off and enjoy the roller coaster ride.
“How you see your future is much more important than what happened in your past.”- Zig Ziglar

5.    Everything Takes Longer Than Expected: This one has been a particularly hard realization to swallow. I expect things to happen quickly…like yesterday. After years of battle, I’ve finally accepted that most ideas, dreams, business ventures, etc. take wwwwaayyy longer than you hope, like 4x longer. I thought our web series, Stampabout, would be up and running within in a year. Wrong! It took 4 years.  I now mentally prepare to be in it for the long haul whenever exploring an idea or project, so I better listen to what Steve Jobs said and I better love what I’m doing.

6.    Forgiveness Is The Key To Happier, More Fulfilling Relationships: I’ve learned that this could be the single-most important thing in having amazing relationships. I’ve hurt others and others have hurt me throughout the years, it’s part of life, but being able to ask for and accept forgiveness has made all of my relationships exponentially better.

7.    People Are The Most Valuable Asset: Not the house, the car, the boat, the title, or whatever we place value on these days, is more valuable than the people in our lives. They bring us love, comfort, hope, joy, happiness, and they help us overcome our biggest challenges and accomplish our biggest endeavors. I’ve received more value from the people that have been put in my life and the people I’ve chosen to be a part of my life. Without them, I don’t have much.

8.    There’s No Such Thing As Being Lucky: I used to think certain people were “lucky”…but I quickly realized that was only for lottery winners. Real luck is simply preparation meeting opportunity.
I’ve made this equation visible to me everyday: Luck = Preparation + Opportunity.

9.    Education Never Stops: It’s funny; I was never that much of studier in high school or college. But after graduating college I became more of a student than ever. I devoured books, went to classes, and met with mastermind groups. Without my “continuing” education I wouldn’t be on the road I’m on today. A degree doesn’t mean you stop learning. For me, learning is a life-long priority at the top of my daily, weekly, and yearly goals list.

10.  Money Is NOT The Root Of All Evil: I don’t exactly know where this came from, but when I was growing up I felt like it was a recurring theme that money was evil. It wasn’t until I read about how much Warren Buffet gives away and how much good he does with his money that I realized money isn’t evil, just the people who use money in evil ways are. I no longer hold on to the notion that making lots of money is a bad thing; rather it’s an amazing resource that can create incredible value for others.

11.  Celebrate The Wins: We have all accomplished more than we realize and we need to give ourselves credit, even down to the smallest thing. I made a decision to celebrate my victories, no matter the size, so that I could look back and see that I’ve done more than I give myself credit for. To help, I created an “Accomplishment Jar” where everyday I write down at least one victory for the day no matter how big or small. I put it in my accomplishment jar and at the end of the month I read everything I accomplished for the month. It helps me see how much I really did get accomplished. It sure helps create confidence and rekindle excitement for what you’re doing, especially when things are moving slower than you’d like…remember number five above?

12.  Building A Legacy Is What’s Important: It’s not about what I take with me to the grave, it’s what I leave behind to help others live a better life.

13.  Don’t Follow The Status Quo And Have Lot’s Of Fun: Can I just be blunt here? Screw the status quo. Be bold, be unreasonable, do things that people think are crazy, and have a blast doing it. Because guess what? I’ll not only have more fun, but I’ll feel free from the daily grind, rat race, and a life of mediocrity. Only 69 years left to live. Give me fun, fun, fun!
“Freedom lies in being bold.” – Robert Frost

14.  A Cleveland Sports Team Will Win A Championship: Someday. I still have hope and that hope is all I have.

15.  Fail Faster And More Often: I used to fear failure, a lot. I still fear failure in some ways, but I’ve learned so much more through failure than I ever did with success. Plus, I’ve found that my failures actually create more opportunities for success. The more I fail and the faster I fail, the faster success comes to me. That also means I have to get over things quicker, which is still a work in progress.

16.  Debt Is The Silent Killer Of Your Hopes And Dreams: Get rid of debt.

17.  Don’t Reinvent The Wheel: If it’s been done before, I duplicate what worked and add my own flavor to it. Trying to create something new and exciting takes way more time and resources. I now take my creative ideas and break them into categories and then go find the most successful example for that category. Innovation is the name of my game.

18.  Setting Goals Is A Must: I’ve actually received a lot of comments in the past from people disagreeing with me about the importance of goal setting, but history shows that people who accomplish the most, or accomplish their big freakin’ dream, set some kind of goal. There have been times where I’ve accomplished under 20% of my goals for the year, but I still set them anyway. They are a pre-requisite to the life I envision and will continue to be so.

19.  Focus On Significance Not Success: I talk about success quite often, but success means different things to different people. What really matters is creating significance. Success then becomes a byproduct. My focus is on creating significance.
“God calls us not to be successful but to be significant. When we focus on significance, success is often part of the package.”- Tom Ziglar

20.  Your Thoughts Become Your Destiny: My destiny could be the legacy we talked about in number 12. Simply put, what I think about will predict my destiny and the legacy I leave behind.

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

21.  Formal Education Is Unnecessary: Generally speaking, with all the access to information these days, going to college or grad school, to me, is no longer a good use of time or money. My education will come in the form of learning from others before me, learning from those around me, learning from the best in the business today, and then taking action and using the motto of “fail forward” as my education.

22.  Daily Exercise And Proper Nutrition Is A Must: This one also took a while to learn. As a collegiate soccer player I was always exercising and I never had to worry about what I ate. But now that I’m in the “real world” I’ve had to make it a priority to get 20 minutes of exercise daily and fuel my body with the right nutrients. Anytime I don’t exercise and/or eat junk I become lethargic, less positive, and less productive.

23.  Always Take Action: Nothing will ever beat taking action. I’ll learn as much as possible on a topic or skill, but at some point I just have to put down the books and act. Action leads to more learning, which leads to more confidence in my competence, which leads to more effectiveness and success.

24.  Nothing Counts Until The Money Is In The Bank: This was a very harsh lesson back in the day. When I was just getting started selling real estate in Chicago, my first three real estate deals fell through at the very last minute. Each time I had already started counting that income, which was a bad idea since they didn’t work out and I didn’t get paid. Moral of the story? Don’t stop running any race until that finish line is crossed…or the money actually hits the bank account.

25.  You Become The Average Of The 5 People You Surround Yourself With: I constantly re-evaluate the people I’m spending my time with. Are they helping me grow, helping me learn more, holding me accountable, and encouraging me to be a better version of myself? If I want to do great things then I need to surround myself with people who also want to do great things. I’ll often ask myself, am I becoming who I want to become by spending most of my time with these 5 people? If not, I make changes.

26.  Get Trained By The Best: If I want to do something well, then I get trained or coached by the best. I did this recently for one of my sales jobs. I had to make cold calls to sell our company’s product and I wasn’t very good at it, yet my livelihood depended on it. Instead of just trying to “get by”, I worked out a deal with the top cold-calling trainer and author to teach me how to be a better cold-calling sales person. With practice and coaching I became the best and it took my career to new heights (and I was featured in his top-selling book). Now if only I had done that with soccer when I was younger. These days, I know the difference great coaching makes and I’ll never make that mistake again.  I’ll always hire a coach or trainer no matter the subject.

27.  Don’t Stop Believing: Having the right mindset is 90% of what makes life happy and fulfilling. One of the most important things for me is to keep on believing in myself and what I believe I can and will accomplish. When times are tough and my dreams are looking bleak, I’ll repeat to myself, “I believe in my abilities. I believe I can do this.” Pretty easy, but works every time.

28.  Look First For The Value In Others: EVERY-body provides value in some form or another. It may be hard to believe but it’s true. I’m making the efforts to look for that first before looking at any of the negatives. If I want others to view me in a positive light from the start then I need to first see in them what I hope they see in me.

29.  Life. Is. Awesome. Speaks for itself. There’s no point in believing anything else. Think this way all the time and I’ll have a lot more fun.

 (Use the highest quality sound system and turn the volume up for most awesome experience)

30.  Do What You Can With What You Have: I’ve learned that if I want more resources then I have to do what I can, with what I have, where I’m at. If I’m able to make something out of nothing, then access to more incredible resources will usually follow…and then I can make a lot out of a lot.

31.  It Doesn’t Matter What Others Think: I’m trying to live out my dream of becoming an adventure travel host on a major TV network at the age of 31, sacrificing any thoughts of a “normal” career. Some people think I’m nuts, think that what I write or the videos I make are stupid, and that I’m wasting my time. I’m sure there’s much more they think about me but won’t tell me…but it doesn’t matter what they think. My mom always said, “if you died today would what they thought of you matter?” Nope.

Obviously, there are a lot of lessons I’ve learned in 31 years and I actually had a running list much, much longer. These, though, are the lessons I felt were the most important ones and when applied, will make the next 31+ years happier, more productive, and more fulfilling.,

Question: How many of these lessons have you learned and what lessons could you add to the list? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Man Escapes Death after His Bible Blocks 2 Bullets

Posted by: Tolu 

Christian man in Ohio, United States of America, Rickey Wagoner, is   big a sign that miracles happen after he escaped death as a result of a  Bible which was inside his pocket. Rickey, 49yrs old driver, was   attacked and shot thrice after being waylaid by three thugs. Two of the  three bullets went into the bible while a third struck Rickey in the   hip.

According to NYDaily, Rickey stopped his bus around 5:20am  on Monday  after an electrical problem. When he pulled over to the curb  to  investigate, three dangerous thugs attacked and shot him with live   bullets.
“I’ve been hit in the leg. My chest feels like I’ve been hit with a sledgehammer.” Rickey survived after a copy of “The Message,” a contemporary version  of the New Testament, prevented two shots from shattering his chest. The  only bullet wound is from the bullet that hit him on the hip.
“The two bullets were stopped by the New Testament book in his chest  pocket. There was obviously some kind of intervention involved in this  incident, because he probably should  not be here [he should be dead],”  said a police sergeant, Michael  Pauley.

“Amazingly, his injuries are not life threatening. He basically said he fought for his life,” Michael added

I Just Lost My Job (Seriously) And 3 Reasons Why It’s The Best Damn Thing That Could’ve Happened

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by Chad

Three hours ago today, February 21^st, 2014, I lost my job. The CEO that hired me was fired, a new CEO brought in and, like the Cleveland Browns every year, the regime cleaned house.
And it’s the best damn thing that’s happened in months!
Yes, I was pissed, took a hit to my confidence, and was starting to fear what the future would hold, but in the end I realized it was the best possible thing at this time.
You might be wondering why losing my job is such a good thing.
If you’re like most people, myself included, there’s probably something else you’d rather being doing with your life than what you’re doing now.
The problem is, it takes guts to actually go after what you want and the road is long and hard. But that’s also why I’m stoked to have the weight of this job off my shoulders.
I’m being forced to “have guts” and actually go hard after what I want, which is becoming an adventure travel TV host on a major network.
Think about what it would be like for you if you didn’t have to work where you’re at now, and you could just focus on doing what you love for a living.
Maybe that’s being a chef, tea shop owner, a fashion designer, or whatever it is that you’d rather being doing with your time.
Sometimes, though, our biggest obstacle to creating the life we want is the comfortable job that we have.
While it’s important to maintain some type of income as you work towards your life by design, there comes a point when you have to go all in.
I’m at that point now and I’m being forced to play my hand. Maybe you’re there, too.

Here are the 3 reasons why getting fired today was the best damn thing to happen in recent months:

Reason One: No More Excuses

We all make more excuses than we should for not doing what we say we’re going to do, and that prohibits us from realizing the life we desire.

I can no longer make the excuse, “well, I can’t work on becoming and adventure travel TV host because I have to work more at my day job.”

When you’ve been working on creating the life you’ve always wanted, like I have for the last few years, you’ll eventually have no more excuses as to why you’re not putting every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears into your life by design.

I just lost my job, and it just eliminated all of my excuses. It’s time to make shit happen.

Reason Two: Sense Of Urgency

It’s amazing how we humans lack a sense of urgency to get things done until there’s a deadline on us. Think about how much you get done the week before you leave for your 2-week vacation.

Same thing happens when you lose your job.

I’m not independently wealthy, so I can’t just sit back and take my good ol’ time. I only have a few months before I need to find another stream of income.

That means I need to kick it into high gear to get things done.

I just lost my job, and it finally created a deadline for me to do what I said I was going to do.

Reason Three: Forced To Create My Own Destiny

Most people want to be in control of where their lives are going. Sometimes you can do that with the company you’re at, but more often than not you’re at the mercy of someone else and no longer in control of your destiny.

I’ve been talking about creating a life by my own design for some time now, so it’s only appropriate that I walk that talk.

Today, I realized that someone else was determining my future, and that I don’t want someone else to having control of my future.

I just lost my job, and it’s forcing me to create my own destiny so that the only person I have to praise or to blame for my progress is myself.

Make no mistake about it; losing my job was not exactly a fun experience today.
After sitting back for a few hours and thinking through what it meant for me and the life I was trying to create for myself, it became apparent that I’m ready to go all in, I’m ready to do it now, and I’m ready to finish creating my own destiny.
Life has a funny way of throwing you curveballs, but if you’ve prepared yourself then you’ll have no problem smacking it out of the park.

Question: Do you have another reason why losing your job could be the best damn thing to happen? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Romantic Ways to Show Her That You Love Her

Posted by: tosin 

Every woman needs affection from her partner to see that her love is reciprocated, and therefore it is important for you to think of romantic ways to show her you love her.
We are all different from one another, and so defining ways in which we can please different women is not a simple task. However, generally speaking, most women want to see a certain level of romance in order to be reassured of their partner’s love for them. Indeed, if you know your woman well enough, then you would know what level and type of romance she prefers. But for those who need a bit of help when it comes to romancing their partner, help is at hand.
Show her that you make an effort to make her happy
She will always appreciate that you have made an effort to show her you love her. Therefore, the more personal input the better. It is important for you to be simple but creative. Try and do something original that will take her by surprise. Bringing her flowers every once in a while is very pleasant, but if you make the effort to think of something new, then she will appreciate it that much more, and know that you have tried hard to show her you love her. For example, if she likes surprises, then you can plan a random spa getaway for the weekend. Or for her upcoming birthday, you can make her a card instead of buying her one, and write a more personal message. She will value the personal touch in what you give her.

Don’t stop showing her that you care about her
Besides giving her presents, you can show her you love her on a daily basis with more hands on romantic gestures. Show her you are actively listening to her when she speaks to you, and make sure to remember what she tells you, in case she refers back to it in the future. Also, make sure that that you are giving her some intimate physical contact each day, even if you are tired or preoccupied, as this will really show her you love her. Lastly, never forget to give compliments – we all enjoy them and she is no exception!

Am not ashamed

Weird But True: Couple Has Triplets And Twins Within A Year (PHOTO)

27 February, 2014

It may sound weird but it is true, an American couple was blessed with triples and twins in a span of one year.

*Andy and Saray with their kids
Well, to clear the confusion ,Andy and his wife Sarah were trying to have a baby for three years, until the doctor told them that they could not have children, reported.
They were also informed that the treatment would cost them in the range of $60,000, however the chances of Sarah getting pregnant was only 10 per cent.
The couple decided against the treatment and went ahead and adopted the triplets.
While the triplets were in the neo-natal unit, Sarah became pregnant and gave birth to twins when the triplets were only 8 months old.
The couple is very excited with their big family and is being helped with childcare and meals from their close-knit community.

Causes and Symptoms of Peptic Ulcer

 Symbol of hospital

There are two main variants of peptic ulcer disease; duodenal ulcer is the commoner of the two main variants of peptic ulcer, the other one is stomach ulcer. An ulcer simply means a wound or a distortion in the contiguity of a surface, it could be on the outer skin or on the inside lining of the hollow organs in the body. Examples are skin ulcers, diabetic foot ulcer, stomach ulcer, duodenum ulcer etc.

Duodenal ulcer implies a wound on the lining of the first part of the small intestine – the duodenum.

Like the other ulcers, duodenum ulcer elicits unpalatable symptoms and signs that could be most discomforting to the affected as enumerated below.

Stomach and upper intestine
The food journey in our body involves passage of food from the mouth down to the oesophagus (the food pipe) into the stomach. The stomach makes acid which helps to digest food. After being mixed in the stomach, food passes into the duodenum, then to other segment of the small intestine whence unto the large intestine to the anus. Of course while the journey occurs, the food is subject to all kinds of degradations – digestion, churning and absorption.

In the duodenum and the rest of the small intestine, food mixes with enzymes (chemicals). The enzymes come from the pancreas and from cells lining the intestine. The enzymes break down (digest) the food which is absorbed into the body. It is the undigested food that is then passed out as faeces (stool).
Peptic inflammation
Peptic inflammation is caused by the stomach acid in the absence of adequate (or defective) natural protection for the inner lining of the stomach. Inflammation can occur in the stomach, the duodenum (as acid flows in with food), or (as discussed in the preceding editions of this column) the lower oesophagus if some acid splashes back up to cause 'reflux oesophagitis' or heartburn disease.

The duodenum
The duodenum is the most common site for a peptic ulcer to occur. It is the immediate continuation of the stomach, where the stomach or food pouch leads to. It is the first part of the intestine and it is regularly bathed with acid “flowing down from the stomach to the duodenum.
Although, it might look logical to think that a duodenal ulcer is caused by too much acid coming from the stomach. This belief is not particularly true. The reality is that most people with a duodenal ulcer actually make a normal amount of acid.
The problem is the way the lining of the duodenum copes with the acid. The duodenum makes chemicals and mucus which covers the surface and protects the tissues from the acid. An ulcer occurs if the acid breaks through this protection. The causes of duodenal ulcers include the following.

Infection by H. pylori
The bacteria Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) cause about 19 in 20 (95%) cases of duodenum ulcer. This bacterium affects the lining of the duodenum in some way which allows the acid to cause inflammation and ulcers.

Anti-inflammatory/Analgesic medicines
This group of medicines which many people take for arthritis, fever, muscular pains, headache etc may lead to the development of frank ulcer etc. Examples are aspirin, ibuprofen, and diclofenac etc. These medicines sometimes affect the lining of the duodenum and allow acid to cause an ulcer.

Other causes
These are rare. An example is Zollinger-Ellison syndrome. In this rare condition, much more acid than usual is made by the stomach due to excessive stimulation of acid production by the acid-secreting cells in the stomach and in unusual places along the gut.
Other factors such as smoking, stress, and drinking heavily may possibly increase the risk of having a duodenal ulcer and could also aggravate the condition.

Symptoms
Pain
This is usual and common, in the upper abdomen just below the sternum (breastbone) at the so-called epigastrum, which is the upper central aspect of the tummy (abdomen). It occurs mostly before meals, or when there is hunger. Usually, it may be eased with food or with antacid medicines. The pain may wake the affected person from sleep, usually some four hours after the last meal. Such that it is not uncommon to hear a person suffering from peptic ulcer to complain of regularly woken up by pain in the tummy in the earlier hours of the morning viz;- around 1am and 2am.

Other symptoms
Other symptoms which may occur include: bloating, retching, and feeling sick. The affected may feel particularly 'full' after a meal. Sometimes food makes the pain worse although this phenomenon is unusual for peptic ulcer but commoner in those with stomach ulcer.

Weight gain
Weight gain is a related finding in those having duodenal ulcer, since as mentioned above, the victim soon discovered that the ulcer pain can easily be relieved by taking food or drinking soothing diary products like milk, yoghurt etc; so he/she keeps on taking in more and more. This inevitably adds up to weight gain in the individual with duodenal ulcer.
We shall conclude this discussion on peptic ulcer with evaluation of possible complications, preventive measures and treatment options in peptic ulcer in a later edition of this column.

What to do before changing jobs

February 26, 2014 by Ademola Alawiye

   

 

| credits: Chukky Nwakky

While some people enjoy working in the same position with the same company for years, others contend that job change is needed after a few years. ADEMOLA ALAWIYE writes on what to do before changing jobs

While many middle-aged people are entrenched in secure jobs they have held for years, others seek to begin anew. Reasons vary, but they include lack of personal challenges in the current jobs and being offered new ones from other businesses.

As you move from one job to another, you must consider several things, especially in the Nigerian economy, such as maintaining professional work behaviour, being flexible in your adjustment and analysing your personal budget.

According to experts, in today’s world, individuals will change careers on average seven times more in their lifetime, compared to only a couple of decades ago – and this rate is rising. There is more choice available to people – especially for those with talent, drive and ambition.

To successfully negotiate a work change, you must be prepared, realistic and ready to explore unfamiliar worlds. Experts say the following must be done when one is seeking a new job

Invest in yourself

According to experts, this is very important, especially in the Nigerian environment. They argue that if you don’t invest in yourself, you will have no value to employers of labour.

Human resource consultant, Mrs. Shoga Adeola, says, “You will need a significant amount of thought, consideration, time and investment in order to make the change smoothly and to make it the right career change. There are many key stages and turning points to consider; so, take the time to do it.”

Get clarity

Adeola says without clarity about what you want to do or how to get it, achieving any sense of fulfilment or being in control of your future will be very difficult.  She says it is really important to work on getting clear about what your central goal is and how to achieve it.

Create an action plan

Experts say that simply knowing what you want will not ensure that you get it. According to them, you need to be clear about your plan of action and how to carry out what you have specifically designed for yourself.

Adeola says, “Get clear achievable steps in place. Outline it so that it is broken down into steps that you can work through towards that bigger goal. Reward yourself and be proud of yourself as you get through each stage of your plan.”

Focus your energy on the task

Making a change and finding the right role is not always an easy task. It can be tough, tiresome and long. You need to stay really focused and be efficient around where you put your energy and effort to get the outcome you want. Experts say that you should make sure that you are in control of the key elements in your world and are able to drive forward with the career and life of your choice. You will need perseverance and determination. Being smart about how you spend your time is also crucial.

Understanding your strengths

Get to know yourself better and identify what your key strengths are. The Chief Executive Officer, Jade Consultancy, Mrs. Jadesola Akinola, says that an individual should constantly ask himself some questions.

She says, “Some questions need to be asked and also answered. You should know what you are really good at. What do you enjoy that you are also good at? What skills have you learnt? What are you naturally inclined to do and be better at?

“Make sure that you get right to the core of it. The more you know yourself the more confident you will become and the better you will be at identifying the right role for you and projecting yourself in order to get it.”

Ignite that passion

Akinola explains that without passion for a role, it will be difficult to get it. She says, “Even if you do get it, you will find it difficult to maintain and grow within and beyond it. What you want here is the right role. This means something that you are truly passionate about. It may take a bit of experimenting to find what ‘floats your boat’, but it will be worth it when you have found it.”

Know your boundaries

Being clear about what works and what doesn’t work for you in order to be happy can be groundbreaking. It sounds simple but so many people do not actually take the time to work it out. Akinola, says, “In each different work situation, we may have different boundaries. By being clear about what they are and then communicating this clearly to others and staying true to what is important, will make a huge difference.”

Manage and improve relationships

This is important from all aspects. If you learn to manage your relationships effectively, you will be able to control the process and transition. You will be able to manage your exit smoothly from your current or old role. Understanding where your old boss is coming from and the impact you have on him or her, and how you interact can really influence how you leave a job.

How you get your next job and keep it may also rely heavily on your ability to manage relationships well.

Leverage your connections

Learn how to network and harness your connections effectively. This does not mean bombarding people you do not know with emails or adding everyone you can find to Linkedin. Neither is this picking up as many business cards you can at a networking event and calling that person part of your ‘network’.

According to experts, real networking is about getting to know people. You need to work on identifying and getting to know those who can help you along your way.

Rid yourself of blocks, fears and insecurities

All of us have them at one stage or another. Many of us keep them for years. However, do not let them stop you. It’s okay to be afraid but just do not let it take over and control what you do or do not do.

If something is blocking you from moving forward, take the time and action you need to confront it, deal with it and resolve it. This does not have to be done alone. Find support from those around you. Get support from a professional if it is a deep personal issue that is troubling you.

If you do not deal with it now, it will keep blocking you in different ways throughout your career and life. Once you have worked through the blocks, you will be so much more energised, comfortable, confident and free

BN #WCW – Toolz is SIZZLING in Ndani TV’s “The Juice” Season 2 Promo Photos

Posted on Wednesday, February 26th, 2014 at 4:10 PM

Give it up for the very HOT Ms. Toolz!

If like most of us you have been wondering what happened to Ndani TV‘s “The Juice“, you’ll be excited to know that it is BACK. Season 2 is set to premiere this March 2014.

To promote the new season of the show, we are presented with AH-mazing promo photos of the host of show Toolz.

Just like a glamour girl, the media personality dazzles in a sequined grey dress as well as frocks that drape perfectly on her silhouette.

Photography: Moussa Moussa

Zimbabwean NoViolet Bulawayo wins the Inaugural Etisalat Prize for Literature

Posted on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014 at 10:37 AM

On Sunday 23rd of February 2014, Zimbabwean NoViolet Bulawayo emerged as the winner at the inaugural edition of the Etisalat Prize for Literature. The prize was announced in June 2013 {Click here if you missed the announcement} with a prize money of £15,000 for the winner, along with a Samsung Galaxy Note and a Montblanc Meisterstuck. The winning writer will also embark on the Etisalat Fellowship at the University of East Anglia mentored by Professor Giles Foden (author of The Last King of Scotland) which will include significant opportunities to meet other writers, publishers and most importantly work on their second book. Shortlisted writers will win a Samsung Galaxy Note and also go on a book tour to two major African cities.

The books shortlisted for the prize were:
Bom Boy by Yewande Omotoso
Finding Soutbek by Karen Jennings
We Need New Names by NoViolet Bulawayo

The Prize has been described as ‘the first ever pan-African prize celebrating first time writers of published fiction books. The Prize aims to serve as a platform for the discovery of new creative talent out of the continent and invariably promote the burgeoning publishing industry in Africa.

By recognizing and celebrating writers and other members of the literary community across Africa, Etisalat plans to bring some much needed awareness and acclaim to the art of Fiction writing while also applauding and rewarding the efforts of those who have ventured into this genre in recent times.’

Speaking on the novels that made the cut, one of the judges, Manyika, said: “The diversity of these debut novels, both on the level of content and narrative style, makes this a very exciting shortlist. Whether it is Bulawayo’s coming of age story set in the context of contemporary global migration, or Omotoso’s cross-cultural tale with its slowly unfolding secrets and interconnected narratives of love and loneliness, or Jennings’ multilayered exploration of history and allegory, each story is uniquely compelling.”

In the Flash Fiction category, the winner gets £1000 cash prize,a Smart Tablet Device and a Published E-book promoted online and via SMS. The two runners up  receive £500 cash prize (each) and Smart Tablet Device. Uche Okonkwo, emerged as the winner in this category. BellaNaija recently published her story Lady of The Night. {Read Uche’s story recently published on BellaNaija here}

You can read the 20 stories in the shortlist here.
And I Had Blood In My Hands - Chiamaka Igili

Biola! – Olugbenga Ogunbowale

Dressed Like A Prince – N. Bassey

Fear – Bonaventure Chukwu O

Invisible Scars – Osasuyi Okungbowa Emmanuel Davies

Life Is Just Funny – Eric Arthur

Lost Memoirs – Adesina Oluwatobiloba

Mirage – Chizoba Deborah Onyike

Mother’s Energy; Father’s Allergy – Obele Kenechi Chioma

Neverland – Uche Okonkwo

Silent Screams – Jeremiah Oluwabamise Nzere

Tainted Hope - Chukwumerije Chukwuka Godson

The Accidental Surprise – Sharon-Ann Onohitare Alofokhai

The Antidote – Gabriel Faniyan

The Dead Nurse Who Came For Her Baby – Kenechukwu Ezenwa-Ohaeto

The Seamstress – Tee Jay Dan

The Waiting – Lawal Fu’ad Olalekan

There’s A Hero In Diaspora – Timothy Chukwunwogor

Unforeseen – Nnaemeka Ugochukwu

When Death Is Not Enough - Collins Opurozor

Congratulations to the winners and the shortlisted writers. We’re very proud of you and we look forward to reading more of your great work.

Young African Entrepreneurs, Apply Today! The 2014 Anzisha Prize Opens for Entries

Posted on Monday, February 24th, 2014 at 8:17 AM

Entries are now open for the Anzisha Prize – Africa’s premier award for the continent’s best young entrepreneurs. This year, youth organisation partners and media brands all over the continent will join forces to find, celebrate and support the most innovative social and business entrepreneurs under the age of 22. Over $75,000 USD in cash prizes will be shared by the 2014 finalists.

Hosted by the African Leadership Academy (ALA) in partnership with The MasterCard Foundation, the Anzisha Prize celebrates initiative and innovation. It identifies exceptional young entrepreneurs who are blazing a trail of startup success and providing shining examples for others follow. In just three years, the Anzisha Prize has grown into one of the most sought after awards for young entrepreneurs globally. On top of the significant cash prizes, the 12 Anzisha finalists will join a growing Anzisha Fellow Network of the continent’s top youth entrepreneurs.

“This year, we’re determined to reach far and wide through our youth development partners, schools and the media to find the very best of Africa’s youngest entrepreneurial talent,” says Chi Achebe, Anzisha Prize Program Manager, “We can’t wait to see what this year’s application process will uncover, and we encourage everyone to help us by nominating amazing young people in their own communities who have started a project or business with potential.”

Current Anzisha Fellows include Andrew Mupuya (2012, Uganda), who was recently featured on CNN for his growing paper-bag manufacturing empire; Kolawole Olajide (2013, South Africa/Nigeria), developer of online education platform Funda; rabbit farm owner Laetitia Mukungu (2012, Kenya); and information activist & Morsimeter.com developer Amr Sohby (2011, Egypt). Thirty-three Fellows have been selected since the awards were first held in 2011.

In addition to the cash prizes, the finalists are also flown to South Africa for a powerful one-week entrepreneurship program taught by ALA’s renowned Entrepreneurial Leadership faculty, culminating in an awards ceremony that crowns the grand prize winners.

“The Anzisha Fellows are a group of exceptional young entrepreneurs who are creating jobs, improving lives, and forming a truly pan-African network of business innovators,” says Reeta Roy, President and CEO of The MasterCard Foundation. “This Prize provides them with an opportunity to learn from each other, and develop skills to grow their businesses and make a greater impact in their communities.”

The Anzisha Prize seeks to find youth between the ages of 15 and 22 who have started and actively run a social venture or for-profit business with potential. The judging panel are looking for ventures that demonstrate ingenuity, scale and positive impact.

This year, the Anzisha Prize has partnered with an exceptional group of youth NGOs in each country to extend its reach. Anzisha country partners for 2014 include The Knowledge Institute (Swaziland), The District (Egypt), iEARN (Cote d’Ivoire, Liberia, and Mali), AIESEC (various countries), Junior Achievement (various countries), among many others. These partners will allow Anzisha to reach more young entrepreneurs than ever before and find another incredible set of Fellows in 2014.

Aspiring fellows can apply directly online at anzishaprize.org or at the offices of any one of our 2014 country partners. Application forms are available in English, French or Arabic, and will be accepted through 1 April 2014.

The Anzisha Prize team will also be visiting key regional hubs in the coming weeks to encourage applications as part of the annual Anzisha Prize Tour. The 2014 Prize Tour cities are Lagos (Nigeria), Cairo (Egypt), and Nairobi (Kenya). These venues will also serve as the locations for regional gatherings for all past Anzisha Fellows in each region.

Follow the story of this year’s Anzisha Prize and what has become known as the #AnzishaEffect online - anzishaprize.org, Facebook - fb.com/anzishaprize, Twitter - twitter.com/anzishaprize and YouTube -www.youtube.com/user/anzishaprize

Don Jazzy Engaged To Atiku's Daughter?

25 February, 2014

Arts and Entertainment

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Mavin Records' CEO, Don Jazzy is reportedly engaged to Amina Abubakar, one of the daughters of former vice president, Atiku Abubakar.

According to report, Don Jazzy and Amina have been dating each other secretly. He has proposed to her and she has accepted but he is not sure the father will approve of the relationship.

Don Jazzy
Don Jazzy was even said to have bought her range rover car recently.
Findings also revealed Amina had dated D'banj before but the relationship didn't work out.

Maybe Don Jazzy and Amina will come out with their affair and her father would eventually consent.
Recall he tweeted sometime back that he was rehearsing how to propose.

UNBELIEVABLE: Muhammed Ali's Boxing Gloves Sold for $837K (PHOTOS)

25 February, 2014

Muhammed Ali's gloves, worn 50 years ago, when he won world title for the first time from Sonny Linston were sold for $837K. 

The boxing gloves worn by Muhammed Ali 50 years ago when he won the title of a World heavyweight championship for the first time, were sold in New York for $836,500 on Saturday.

Muhammed, then known as Cassius Clay, won his title from Sonny Linston, it was in Miami Beach, Florida, in February 1964.

The gloves were kept in private collection of his trainer Angelo Dundee right after the legendary match, until his death in February 2012. After that they remained at his son, who decided to sell them on 50's anniversary of the fight to help pay family medical bills. Part of the money is promised to the Muhammed Ali Foundation.

The buyer wished to remain anonymous.

Estimation price was $500,000, however the interest of the buyers has shown that Muhammed Ali figure is still very interesting.

 

11 Questions To Ask A Woman Before You Marry Her

So you love her, and you’re starting to see a future. How do you make absolutely sure she would make the right partner?

Here are some questions you should ask her before you pop the question.
Money
Ask her:
What would you do if you won N50,000,000 in the lottery?
You must find out her financial priorities.
One of the biggest problems couples have is money and, specifically, differences in styles of spending and attitudes about their budget. You’ll learn how she views money, saving, and long-term investing.
Will all of it go toward cars and trips, or most toward retirement? It’s not essential that you share the same investment strategies. What’s important is to use the conversation to prompt a discussion about financial behavior: how you pay bills, invest the year-end bonus, or decide on major purchases. If your attitudes don’t mesh, now’s the time to get the issues on the table and build a consensus.
Her Family

Ask her:
What’s your favorite holiday? How does your family spend it?
It’s important to learn about her family roots.
Where you spend the holidays can be a huge political issue. The underlying issue is whose family comes first, and that stands for who has the power in the relationship.
Religion
Ask her:
Do you believe in God?
This helps you find out how compatible your faiths and religious rituals are.
In a study of 120 married couples, those who shared religious holiday rituals reported more marital satisfaction than the pairs who practiced holiday rituals separately.
It’s not necessarily the religion itself that’s key—though the particular religion you practice can certainly be a huge issue with her family—it’s all the things that go with it. When you engage in celebrations and rituals, there’s usually a lot of planning involved, something to look forward to that’s meaningful to discuss.
Her Work

Ask her:
What’s your dream job? Where would you most like to live?
You need to know her goals, and how far she’s willing to go to reach them.
Just asking shows support for her career, an important factor. Those who felt they had more support had greater satisfaction than those who felt unsupported.
It’s also a good time to find out how far she’s willing to move away from her family. It’s a very under-appreciated area of stress—where are you going to live, whose family are you going to live near—yours or hers?.
Your Work

Ask her:
What was your dad’s work schedule like?
You need to find out whether she’s already lived with a man who had the same work ethic and schedule as yours.
Maybe her dad worked a 7-to-3 shift every day of his life, came home and played with the kids until they went to bed, and never worked weekends. Maybe he owned a business and set his own hours so he was always home for dinner.
But your job—or your future job—may require late meetings, 60-hour workweeks, and business trips. And that can put stress on a relationship.
“Working until 9, 10, sometimes later, night after night, is a constant source of stress with my wife,” a friend of mine in publishing told me. “She still doesn’t understand that this is the nature of the business at deadline time. It’s not the life she was used to.”

Interests and Dreams

Ask her:
How do you envision your life in 5 years?
This will help you find out whether she wants to be a career girl or a stay-at-home mom or a mom with a career.
You should know whether she expects to live in a big house or an apartment in the city. More and more research shows that the “opposites attract” notion is a myth. Successful couples usually have more similar priorities than not.
A couple has to have similar goals and a long-term plan, worked out together, to reach these goals. And, even more important, a similar tolerance for risk and sacrifice. If you don’t share the same values, they’ll be a constant source of conflict in terms of how you spend your time and money.

Discipline Style
Ask her:
What do you think of spanking as punishment?
You need to hear her thoughts on disciplining kids.
We assume you’ve worked out whether you both want children, and maybe even how many. (You have done this, right?) But how you’ll discipline them is a topic that’s often overlooked. Bring it up the next time you see an stubborn, unruly child at a restaurant. Ask her how she’d handle it and how she was disciplined as a child.
Either we tend to follow the way we were raised, or, if something was objectionable about the way we were raised, we do the opposite. Different parenting styles can cause the most strain on a marriage because they can be a daily, even hourly, source of conflict.
Genetics

Ask her:
What do your parents like to drink?
It’s important to know if there’s a history of alcoholism in her family.
Health problems like depression and alcoholism have a strong genetic component. If her mother had depression or her father was a chronic alcoholic, there’s a good chance it could creep up and become a problem.”
It’s not a relationship killer, but talking about hereditary health risks early will make it easier to discuss the same conflicts should they pop up in your relationship.

Your Potential In-Laws

Ask her:
How have your parents reacted to your previous boyfriends?
You should find out whether they’ll think the current boyfriend is good enough for their little princess (and whether they’ll pay big bucks for the wedding).
If her parents don’t approve, there’s a potential problem,. Not that that’s necessarily a deal breaker. Who are you marrying, her or them?
What’s more important is to learn something about your girlfriend by how she responds. Is she the kind of girl who wants to please Mommy and Daddy? Or is she secure enough with herself to make her own life decisions?
Her Father

Ask her:
What was your relationship with your father like?
This helps you find out her attitude toward men.
Especially toward the one who mattered most (before you). If her father was distant and cold, she may seek male approval. If her father was abusive or a cheat, she may have trouble trusting men.
If there’s any unfinished business in her relationship with her father, it could manifest itself in your relationship. When people get into serious relationships, they tend to look to their mate to give them everything they need. Couples get into trouble when they don’t look closely at these tendencies early on.
You also should consider her relationship with her mother, which could have the very same implications. If she can’t pee without calling her mother to tell her all the details, that’s not going to change after you walk down the aisle.

And the Ultimate Question . . .

Finally, you need to ask yourself this: “Can I ask these questions and have an honest, intelligent conversation with this woman when we disagree?” Because if you can’t, none of her answers really matter.

Popular Fuji musician Wasiu Alabi Odetola popularly known as Pasuma got married to Nollywood actress, Jaiye kuti.

PHOTO: Fuji Star, Pasuma ‘Weds’ Popular Actress

Pasuma who seem to have other talents aside singing featured in a new Yoruba movie titled ‘Jaiyeola Ni Mo N Je’ produced by actress Jaiye Kuti.
The Fuji star in the movie played actress, Jaiye Kuti's lover and they ended up getting married.
The movie also featured stars like Adebayo Salami, Yinka Quadri, Henrietta Kosoko, Faithia Balogun, Femi Adebayo, Ojo Arowosafe and Yomi Gold and according to the producer the movie was shot in Ikorodu area of Lagos and it cost N1.2m.
Meanwhile Pasuma is said to be dating popular actress, Ronke Odusanya, a.k.a Flakky Ididowo and are set to get married.

What mistake you must not make about money matters

February 24, 2014 | Filed under: Personal Finance | Author: Editor

Death. That morbid subject nobody wants to talk about. Yet, it is inevitable. You may be wondering what death has got to do with money.

 Well, living costs money. Dying costs even more money. In fact, your death might cost you and your surviving family members almost all the money and assets you had spent your entire life accumulating. You only need to ask spouses or families whose loved ones passed on without planning for that inevitable event. They know better.

 A Life Skill

The need for you to come to terms with death has gotten critical on account of the financial implications of failing to make early and adequate preparations before it comes calling. Early and adequate preparations before you pass on are what estate planning is all about.

With recent global economic upheavals and its impact on people’s overall personal wealth, estate planning is now categorised as a critical life skill.  It is basically about you consciously making very clear decisions on how you want all the money and property – your estate – that you have accumulated in your lifetime inherited or distributed after you pass on, and by whom. If you make such decisions and state them in unambiguous terms in your estate plan, using estate planning devices such as wills and trusts, then you are certain to dictate how your estate will pass on to your preferred beneficiaries, literally from the grave!

 Choices

Please note, however, that it is entirely your choice to plan your estate. Where you choose to die WITHOUT planning for all the property or wealth you will leave behind, the governments of the States where you reside or where your houses are located will immediately commence their own already-made plans for your money and property.

Most States in Nigeria have existing laws that provide for how estates “not accounted for”, so to speak, are to be managed and distributed by the respective governments on the estate owners’ behalf. Governments earn generous income from the fees and charges slammed on estates not planned for by their owners at their death. Your family members get to inherit the remainder of your wealth only after the governments have deducted their fees and charges from your entire estate.

 A Resource Custodian

There are numerous financial reasons that should drive you to quickly commence the process of planning for your estate today.

Before you go religious on this subject, as a lot of Nigerians are wont to do, think of yourself as having resources left in your care by the Supreme Being that you revere. If you take it that you are carrying out the job of a steward in managing the resources you were given in your lifetime, then you need to properly finish that responsibility through ensuring that you pass on the assets to other stewards worthy of those resources. Surely, you would not want to be directly responsible for the financial loss that may be incurred for the misuse of those resources.

 Asset Protection

Have you thought of the need for asset protection? Why would you work your entire life to acquire wealth – no matter how ‘small’ – and then become complacent in making sure its value is not diminished or eroded? Protecting your assets makes better sense if you take the measures while still alive as a lot of devices will be available to you for best results. Your passing on almost automatically denies your estate such advantages, with additional costs borne by it.

 Costs to Survivors

A little dose of introspection would throw up questions that would indicate further potential costs to your surviving family and loved ones; avoidable costs if you really take the time to think and put together an adequate estate plan for their benefit. Ask yourself these questions:

 “What will be the cost of letting my unplanned estate result in a family dispute and a battle in the courts between my wife and siblings? How about the loss of income from rental property that I owe if I fail to specify how the property should be managed and by whom? How will the outstanding loan facility I took be paid back from my assets? How will my children’s education be paid for till the university level? How will my wife or siblings access all the money in my bank accounts? How about my pension funds? Who will eventually take over my investment in shares? If anything happens to my wife after I am gone, who will take care of my young children the way I would want them taken care of?”

Conclusion

It is really amazing that, despite our current level of exposure, education and the numerous incidences of family conflicts and unending court battles over estates left behind by dead relatives reported daily in our clime, people still pay little attention to proper estate planning.  Neglecting to plan your estate trumps up costs that will ultimately dent your purse, so please have a re-think now and do something, while you still have the opportunity to do so.