One of the most direct way to change your life, you need to change your attitude.
No one else is responsible for what
happens to you but you, so you can either complain about the things you
don’t like in your life or you can set about changing them. Not
surprisingly, this directly relates to the state of your finances.
If you’re tired of living paycheck to
paycheck, having your phone regularly cut off, or making excuses to skip
dinners with your friends, then you can use these seven habits to take
control of your money situation and live a happier and more frugal
lifestyle.
Habit one: Be proactive
The first habit to develop is to take
responsibility; if you fail, you have no one to blame but yourself.
Regardless of how you were raised or how you were treated at school, you
can choose your behavior now. Being proactive means understanding that
you are in control of your day-to-day interactions, and thereby, the
direction your life takes. This is in stark comparison to a reactive
person, who is often affected by their environment and will find
external sources to blame for their behavior. For example, if the
weather is good, they’re in a good mood, but if the weather is bad, it
affects them and they blame the weather for their bad mood.
What most people forget is that though
you can’t control the stimulus, you can control your response. One of
your most important choices is your words; the language you use is an
effective indication of how you see yourself. If you use proactive
language, such as “I can” or “I will,” you’re starting with a more
positive attitude than someone who uses language like “I can’t” or “I
have to” or “If only.”
How to be proactive for effective frugality
Take the first step. You cannot take
control of your finances until you make the commitment to do so; the
more you ignore the situation, the worse it will get. Instead, take a
long hard look at your finances — your budget, debts, income, and
expenses, and try to understand where your money is going and where you
can budget better.
Tell people
Using proactive language to vocalize
your hope of being more financially responsible not only helps you
crystallize your goal, but it can also help you avoid the peer pressure
that makes budgeting and frugality hard. If you explain to your friends
and family that you’re trying to live a more frugal lifestyle, they’ll
be less likely to pressure you into one more round of drinks or another
dinner out.
Listen.
Listen to yourself and to the reasons
you give each time you make a purchase outside of your budget or decide
not to put spare money into your savings account. Taking the time to
stop and listen to the reasons you give yourself for spending more than
you earn will give you the opportunity to hear just how shallow many of
those reasons are. This can stop you from making purchases that impede
your goal of effective frugality.
Habit Two: Begin with the end in mind
Those who are effective in achieving
their goals are able to envisage their desired end result in spite of
the obstacles. Effective people adhere to this habit based on the
principle that all things are created twice; there is first the mental
creation, then the physical creation. The physical creation follows the
mental creation the same way that a building follows its blueprints.
If you don’t visualize what you want,
then you’re at risk of other people and external circumstances
influencing your life – because you’re not influencing it yourself.
Instead, begin every day and every task with a clear vision of where you
want to go and how you’re going to get there. Make that vision a
reality with your proactive skills from habit one.
How to visualize effective frugality:
Define your goal. There are many ways to
live a frugal lifestyle, and you need to decide how frugal you want to
be. Do you want to be debt free, build a savings account of a certain
value, or live on one income in a two-income household?
Decide how you’re going to get there.
This will again draw on your budget, but you need to be aware of the
obstacles that are standing in your way. These may be literal obstacles,
such as credit card debts, or they may be obstacles you’ve identified
in your behavior.
Habit three: Put first things first
Knowing WHY you’re doing something is an
incredible motivator in helping you transform a mental creation into an
actual physical creation of your goal. Ask yourself what the things are
that you find most valuable and worthy to you. When you put these
things first, you’ll be organizing and managing your time around your
personal priorities to make them a reality.
For many people, it’s hard to say no,
but this is exactly the skill you have to learn to keep your goals as
your first priority. While we are constantly told we can have it all, in
reality, having it all is really about prioritizing what is most
important to YOU to have, and then focusing on that.
How to put effective frugality first:
Recognize the effects of your finances.
You may not dedicate as much time as you should to managing your
finances and practicing frugal principles because you feel there’s
always something more important to be doing — whether it’s work, taking
the kids to soccer practice, or getting ready for dinner with the girls.
If your finances aren’t under control, however, and you’re regularly
spending more than you earn, then they’re having a negative impact on
every other aspect of your life, from your work to your family and
friends. You need to recognize that being frugal is your first priority.
Just say no. It’s easy to spend more
than your budgeted amount each month when you’re worried about missing
out on a dinner with friends, feel as though you have to cater a
birthday party for your son and 50 of his closest friends, or don’t want
to wear the same suit to a work conference two years in a row. If you
recognize that you don’t have to take on everything and that it’s okay
to say no, then you’ll find you’re more in control of your spending and
your budget.
Habit Four: Think win-win
Most of us are taught to base our
self-worth on comparisons to others and competition against our peers.
We think we can only succeed if someone else has failed. We’re also
taught that there’s only so much pie to go around, so if you get a big
piece, then someone else is missing out. When you think like this,
you’re going to feel like nothing is ever fair. As a result, many of us
retaliate and take the pie before someone else can take it from us.
Thinking in a win-win mindset allows you
to see mutual benefits from all of your interactions. By doing this,
you’ll see that the pie tastes even better when it’s shared. If you can
approach conflicts and problems with a win-win attitude, you’ll be able
to express your ideas and feelings with courage, while still maintaining
consideration for the feelings and ideas of others. When you have an
abundance mentality, you’re able to see that there is enough for
everyone, and that by balancing your confidence with empathy, you can
achieve your goals while helping others achieve theirs.
How to create frugal win-win situations:
Recognize that you don’t always know the
full story. As you aim to implement frugal principles and stick to a
budget, you may often find yourself thinking “it’s not fair.” It’s not
fair that they get to go out to dinner. It’s not fair that they get a
new car. It’s not fair that they get to go on vacation, and I don’t.
Take the time to realize, however, that you’re only seeing a small part
of the finances of your friends and family who seem to “have it all.”
And though it’s hard to watch your best friend take a dream European
holiday, or your brother buy the car you covet, you’ll get there, too —
if you manage your finances frugally. And the best part? There will
still be plenty of holiday destinations and fast cars when that time
rolls around.
Understand the difference between
possessions and net worth. While your friends and family may seem to
have a fuller lifestyle because their house is bigger or their car is
newer, you need to consider that it could just be a facade covering
their mountains of debt. True wealth is not measured in possessions, but
in assets. When the value of your assets is greater than the amount you
owe on mortgages, car loans, and credit card debts, then you have a
strong net worth and are truly wealthy. By trying to live a more
effectively frugal lifestyle, you’ll be able to achieve true wealth,
rather than just a life full of stuff.
Habit five: Communication
At its base, communication is the desire
to be heard and understood. Most people will listen with the intention
to reply to what you’re saying, rather than to understand what you’ve
said. To effectively communicate, you need to first understand. If you
communicate with the sole intention of being understood, you may ignore
what others are saying and miss their meaning entirely.
Don’t just wait for your turn to talk; pay attention to what people are trying to tell you.
How listening can help you be effectively frugal:
You are not the only person in your
life. Chances are you’re married or in a relationship, have friends or
children, or all of the above. As a result, you’re not the only person
being affected by your decision to live a more frugal lifestyle. To be
effective in your goal of frugality, you need to be able to listen to
and understand the goals and behaviors of the other people in your life,
too. Consider how effective your frugality would be if you were taking
packed lunches to work and avoiding the afternoon coffee run, while your
partner was going on shopping sprees during their lunch break. Instead
of living a more frugal lifestyle, you’d really be saving on one end and
spending on the other.
Understand the goals and needs of
others. While it’s important to explain your desire to live more
frugally, it’s also important that you understand the goals and needs of
those around you. This way, you can find a way to be more frugal
without them having to give up all of the things that are most important
to them. You can’t know what those things are unless you listen.
Habit six: Synergize
Interactions and teamwork are some of
the most important ways you can learn new skills and more effective
behaviors. Synergizing is the habit of creative cooperation — working as
a team to find new solutions to existing problems. Synergy is not
something that just happens. It’s a process where you bring all of your
personal experience and expertise to the table, enabling more effective
results than those you would have been able to achieve individually. The
whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
When you have genuine interactions with
people, you’re able to gain new insights and see new approaches to your
problems — ones you might not have thought of before.
How to synergize for effective frugality:
Look for new ways. In a society that
excels at consumerism, you’ve probably already realized that you need to
find new ways of doing just about everything to be frugal. It’s easy to
buy your lunch every day, but it’s more frugal to pack it. It’s easy to
drive to work, but it’s more frugal to take the train. It’s easy to buy
a new cocktail dress, but it’s more frugal to make one.
Surround yourself with other frugal
people. To be successful in your quest for frugality, surround yourself
with like-minded people. Find people who are where you want to be by
joining online frugal-living forums, striking up a friendship with a
fellow coupon-cutter, or starting a sewing club. When you’re around
people with the same goals as you, you’ll be able to share ideas and
learn from each other.
Habit seven: Sharpen the saw
You’re the greatest asset you have on
your journey to achieving the lifestyle you want, so you need to look
after yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Taking the time to renew yourself in these areas of your life will give
you strength to maintain the previous six habits, which are essential
for your success.
How to frugally renew yourself:
Physically. By eating better, you’ll
feel better. Take it another step further and start your own vegetable
patch, which will save you money at the supermarket and be healthier for
you. Exercising keeps you fit and healthy, and it doesn’t cost you
anything to go for a walk, ride a bike, or skip rope in the backyard. To
rest your body, you don’t need to go to a day spa; you can simply relax
in the tub at home.
Emotionally. Interacting socially with
others allows you to make meaningful connections, and it makes you feel
good. This can be achieved by chatting with the woman at the coffee shop
or by calling your mom once a week.
Mentally. Exercising and expanding your
mind through learning, reading, writing, and teaching can be done
frugally. Visit your local library, or volunteer at a school or
retirement home to teach others a skill you may be taking for granted.
Spiritually. Spend time close to nature
and expand your spiritual self through meditation, music, art, or
prayer. Take a quiet moment to center yourself and empty your mind
before going to bed. Or, go for a hike and be grateful for the beauty of
nature surrounding you.
Frugality doesn’t mean having to give up
all the luxuries and things which make you happy. Don’t get burned out
by developing habits one through six without taking the time to renew
yourself. Frugality is something you want to develop and maintain for
the long-term. Follow these seven habits, and you’ll be on your way to
becoming a highly frugal person.
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