never had an argument with my husband” or
“we never fight”, they are lying to you! Every
marriage has its fair share of issues, whether
you want to call them conflicts, confusions or
problems. What is more important is to get
yourself out of these conflicting areas and
ensure that they are kept at the bay. Have a
quick look at some of the common problems
that plague every marriage on the planet.
1. Dishonesty
If there was one thing that came above
anything else while ruining a marriage, this
would be it – dishonesty. Many a times, you let
out ‘little lies’ and then call them ‘white lies’ for
your own convenience. If you are confident of
yourself and not faking anything in your
marriage, there should be no reason for even
the smallest of lies. Talk about things that are
not too appropriate to be said directly, but do
not lie! Be honest about yourself, your
thoughts, ideas, expectations, and your love.
Dishonesty may save you from a small
argument today, but can come back and haunt
you years later. You will break his trust and his
heart, if he ever finds out that you have been
dishonest. There is nothing more painful than
lack of trust in a marriage.
2. Unrealistic expectations
Whenever you find yourself struggling to come
in terms with ‘unfair’ situations in your
marriage, sit back, take a deep breath and
think to yourself, “What do I really expect? Is
this what I deserve?” Most women often expect
too much, and in some cases, too less. It is
very tough to keep a balance between more
and less, but a moment of thought can usually
help you to come to terms with your
expectations. Always remember, you should
expect no less or no more than what you
deserve.
3. Lack of intimate compatibility
intimate relations with your partner play a very
important role in your marriage. Lack of s*x
can lead to depression, arguments, loss of
excitement and, in worst cases, even infidelity.
Find time from your busy routine for each
other’s physical needs. Be adventurous, try
new things inside the bedroom, and spice
things up!
4. Lack of respect
It is very important that you treat your partner
with respect. There is no single thing that you
can say or do to show respect. It just means
backing him up no matter what. It can be
something as small as taking his side in an
argument on the dinner table with friends, or
agreeing with his views while having a
challenging conversation with the family. You
must expect the same. Loss of respect is a
significant blow to the balance of a
relationship. Give respect, get respect.
5. Practice what you preach
It’s one thing putting your thoughts, ideas and
expectations forward; it’s another thing to step
up and practice what you preach. If you have
certain demands or expectations from your
partner, be ready to put them to practice in
your own life. It can be as simple as being
aware of your own punctuality levels before
asking him to ‘always be on time’. You will
gain respect from your partner if you follow
what you say.
6. Taking each other for granted
It is one of the easiest traps that many couples
fall into. Think of the moment when you were
dating your partner and your only dream in life
was to marry him and be with him forever. Well,
guess what, your dream has come true!
Appreciate the fact that what you only dreamt
of earlier is what you have now. Think of every
moment spent with him as a gift and cherish
every romantic look that he gives you. Never
take your partner and his love for granted.
7. Lack of maturity
With marriage comes love, responsibility,
commitment and devotion. It requires a lot of
hard work and effort to lay a solid foundation of
a good relationship and to keep the momentum
going. Often enough, many do not seem to be
adoptive of the maturity levels that are required
to keep this union strong. It can be as simple
as giving up on an argument sometimes, if it is
not worth arguing. Act your age, be responsible
and realize from deep down inside that you are
shaping the life of another person!
8. Lack of crisis management
Some of you may think that crisis management
is too vague a term to be used and thrown
around. Well, that is not the case. Crisis
management involves a deliberate effort
towards assembling your thoughts and
understanding the issues that cause fights and
arguments in the first place. Ask yourself,
“What is causing the problem?” Then think,
“What can I do to solve it?” And lastly, “What
can I do to prevent it?” It isn’t rocket science
but then very few of women actually spend
time to think about it. Remember, sometimes
the simplest solutions are in close proximity
from you. All you need to do is- think!
9. Loss of romance
It is a harsh world out there and most of your
life is spent in trying to make a buck. Your
dreams and career paths steal a lot of time
keeping you away from the family. Take time
out from your busy schedule to bring back the
romance in your life. It can be as little as
spontaneously going out for a glass of wine by
the pier or giving him a surprise and fixing him
breakfast in bed or even lighting a few scented
candles in the lounge on a cold dark evening to
spice things up a bit. Remember, such little
steps may only need half an hour, but they will
have long term impact on your relationship. It
will keep the “romantic teen” inside you alive
and kicking and you will surely bat your eyelids
the next time he comes back home with
flowers and looks into your eyes!
10. Financial woes
Be actively involved in your family’s finances
and be wise about money. Spending on a few
luxuries in life is good but do not indulge in
extravagance, if you cannot afford it. Create a
budget plan and stick to it. Money is easy to
spend but difficult to earn. It is painful to see all
the love, effort and hard work put into a
relationship go waste because of financial
instability.
11. Infidelity
If you think only men cheat, you are wrong!
Anyone can cheat, and that includes women.
s*x, money, passion, lust, lack of love,
boredom – there are many reasons to drive
you there. But mind you, none of these are
good enough reasons to justify the act. If there
is loss of interest or if the marriage is beyond
reconciliation, talk about it with your partner.
There is no going back after the act happens
and the damage is unimaginable. Hearts are
broken, trust is lost, feelings are hurt, and love
loses meaning – it’s just not worth it.
Marriage is the blissful union of two people
having different personalities. If you think that
your marriage has too many problems, you are
not alone. Marriages are all about
compromises, adjustments, reconciliations and
more importantly, love. Your marriage is divine
– protect it, preserve it, cherish it!
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