Study Shows That Numbers Of Working Moms Have Increased: Is That A Good Thing?

It is nearly 10:00p.m. EST which means that I can finally sit down. I’ve been up for about 16 hours now and like hundreds of thousands of other working moms like me, I get my first real break of the day once my kids are in bed. After getting the kids off to school this morning, I headed into the office where I worked a full day before returning home to make dinner, do dishes and a few loads of laundry.
Tomorrow, I get to do it all over again. Parents don’t get a break on the weekends: in my house (probably like yours) there are soccer games, dance rehearsals, field hockey and ice hockey practices to make as well as special events (my oldest daughter is running her first 5k race tomorrow as part of the amazing Girls On The Run program and my middle child is singing along with her dad on stage at Pete-apalooza). That’s not even counting our “normal” schedule that includes Pancake Sunday and “linner” (our traditional mix of lunch and dinner on Saturdays).
It’s tough, this parenting thing. Nobody tells you how tired you’ll be at the end of the day: there’s no warning about how much you’ll want to just curl up and sleep before you realize that there are still many, many things to do. You can’t be prepared for the realization that you haven’t seen a non-animated movie for goodness knows how long or that you know all of the lyrics to every single Taylor Swift song. And then there’s that moment when you realize that your oh-so-fashionable Coach purse is stuffed with sanitizing wipes and Madeline dolls.
It’s definitely not what they prepped me for in law school.
But it is the norm for more women these days. A recent report by the Pew Foundation reveals not only are the numbers for working moms up – but that mothers are now the sole or primary income provider in a record 40% of households with children – that’s nearly four times the rate from 1960. It is, as the Washington Post so aptly noted, a “sweeping change in traditional gender roles and family life over a few short decades.”
On some level, it’s to be expected. Women have made inroads into a number of nontraditional female professions (like the law): women make up almost of half (47%) of the U.S. labor force today.
Not all “breadwinner moms” – those that make the lion’s share in their households – are created equal, however. According to the study, 5.1 million (37%) are married mothers who have a higher income than their husbands, and 8.6 million (63%) are single mothers. As you probably guessed, married moms tend to outearn their single mom counterparts, nearly by a factor of four.
And while most Americans (79%) believe that it’s silly to assume that women should automatically return to “traditional roles”, we’re still conflicted about what we believe the balance should be when it comes to work and home. According to the study, about half (51%) of respondents say that children are better off if a mother is home and doesn’t hold a job. Nearly three-quarters of adults (74%) say the increasing number of women working for pay has made it harder for parents to raise children, and half say that it has made marriages harder to succeed.
But what about the money? Two-thirds of respondents say it has made it easier for families to live comfortably. We’re one of those families. My income pays for camps and sports and rehearsals – all of those things that my kids say they want to do – while my husband’s income pays the bills (mortgage, utilities, car payments and the like). Could we survive without my income? Of course we could. Would we want to? I’m not so sure.
The assumption is, of course, that women work because they have to. While there is clearly a segment of the population – as evidenced by the study – that has become dependent upon a second income, it doesn’t always follow that a second income is the result of a desperate choice. Many women, like me, work because they like what they do.
As much as I love cobbling together Revolutionary War costumes at the last minute, baking bread and making cookies – and I wouldn’t give those things up for anything – I also love my job. And as the mother of two daughters, it thrills me that they see me not only work but be genuinely enthusiastic about what I do. And yes, I’ll admit that my job isn’t terribly glamorous as far as they’re concerned: my oldest daughter was devastated when she learned that I “worked with taxes” and not “drove taxis” – which is what she told her kindergarten class – and my middle daughter was not all impressed to find that when I was on “Good Day Philadelphia”, it wasn’t to report the weather (darn that Sue Serio!) but to talk about tax season.
It’s also true that being a working mom isn’t always the financial boon that it’s painted to be. While total family income is higher when the mother, not the father, is the primary breadwinner, having a second wage earner doesn’t always provide the most advantageous tax result. Since our federal income tax system is progressive, the more money you make, the more tax you pay at the higher end.
A “secondary wage earner” – meaning the person whose income is tacked onto your family income (which statistically tends to be the mom) is taxed at the highest marginal rate. Every family who files married filing jointly pays the same rate of tax on the first $17,850 of income – that’s the 10% rate. The next $55,000 (or so) is taxed at 15%. Once you cross the $72,500 threshold, you pay 25% on the excess. The next bracket (28%) kicks up at $146,401 and so on. What that means is that while the primary breadwinner (whoever that might be in your household) is taxed at a progressive rate, the “add-on” is taxed at the highest marginal rate. That means that in a double wage earning household – especially if the wages are not equal – the primary bread winner runs up the brackets while the secondary breadwinner is taxed at the highest marginal rate. The real life result is that a paycheck of say, $50,000, in a $100,000 household is only worth about $37,500 (not taking into consideration state and local rates).
If you want to compare current figures, you can check out the 2013 rates here.
Of course, the numbers aren’t all about tax rates. The reduction due to federal taxes doesn’t take into consideration the other costs of being a working mom, namely the b word: babysitter.
Under the federal income tax laws, a regular babysitter – while a great solution for your family – can actually complicate your tax picture. As happened with my family, you can find yourself making the leap from simply being parents to being employers: for federal income tax purposes, a babysitter can be classified a household employee. That means figuring withholding and paying payroll taxes in addition to paying a salary – those numbers can quickly add up.

Whether you opt to have a babysitter or if you use out of home child care (like camp or daycare), you might qualify for the Child and Dependent Care Credit. But here’s another thing that nobody tells you about parenthood: that credit for child care is never as good as it sounds.
If you pay someone to watch your qualifying child or dependent (generally, a child under age 13) while you work or look for work, you can, in theory claim the Child and Dependent Care Credit. The credit is not a straightforward deduction – it is rather a percentage of the amount of expenses actually paid for care. The amount claimed can be up to 35% of your child care expenses, depending upon your income (Check out Ashlea Ebeling’s excellent piece on The ABCs Of Child Care Breaks).
It sounds terrific – a tax break for child care – but the math doesn’t always work out. The average cost of center-based daycare in the United States is $11,666 per year per child or a whopping $972 a month. Prices are even higher in metropolitan areas – up to $2,000 a month for infant care.
As the mother of three children, this means that if I work full time outside of the home, I can expect to spend at least $36,000 on child care for children who are not in school full time. Let’s assume that I make $50,000 , which is higher than the median income in the US. My entire after tax salary would go towards paying for child care. My tax credit, however, is limited to $6,000 for child care expenses. That’s because, for 2013, the cap is $3,000 for one child or $6,000 for two or more children (apparently, the addition of a third child doesn’t phase those in Congress all that much – those folks have clearly never been to my house). You can see that, with those numbers, an additional salary could easily be eaten up in taxes and childcare.
So why work at all? Increasingly, Americans say that it’s not a good idea: only 16% say having a mother who works full time is the ideal situation for a young child. Ten years ago, a 2003 CBS News/New York Times survey found that 61% of Americans said children are better off if their mother doesn’t hold a job, while 29% said children were just as well off if their mother worked.
I’m going to have to disagree. Money aside, there can be an intangible benefit for working parents. In my case, I want my kids to understand that I like what I do, that I am valued in my field and that my worth as a person isn’t tied to just one title. My kids know that I am their mom first but they also know me as “taxgirl” – in fact, my oldest daughter made me a cool “taxgirl” pillow for Christmas. It makes me incredibly proud that she sees me work and understands that it’s important to me.
I am extremely lucky to have some pretty amazing kids. But I like to think that – money and taxes aside – that my decisions about work and family are made for the right reasons and not just about dollars. I’m not so naive to think that money isn’t important and I know that it has a big impact on my life. And realistically, right now, like many of you, with student loans and a mortgage and groceries and fill-in-the-blank with living expenses, I couldn’t easily give that up.
But all of that aside, being a mom? It’s my first and best job. Always.
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