How to be a writer in Lagos

You must first be seen hobnobing with people in the writing community, never miss an opportunity to attend a book reading at arty fatsy places such as Glendora, Bogobiri, Jazzhole and Quintessence.

Be very vocal, so vocal, people could easily mistake you for a freedom rights activist. Your role and main goal is to be heard, not through your written words, but your voice. You must scream and you must argue with fanatical fervor. You mustn’t forget to dress the part. Please endeavour to appear dirty, dingy and dodgy. Dressing up nicely or “normally” will just not cut it here.
You are a tortured soul, and therefore cannot be bothered by trivial things such as looks. You must wear dread locks or dada and preferably a pair of nerdy glasses, dirty jeans and smelly looking tee shirts. It would help if you could pretend to be gay or bisexual, you will come off as very worldly and open minded and liberal.
Think about it.