Michael Tally, a 31-year-old sales
manager at a New Jersey-based packaging firm, walked down the long hallway
leading towards his office, eyeing up the three candidates in folding metal
chairs. “Two were nervous-looking, ruffling through papers in neat manila
folders,” he recalls. It was the morning of the third and final round of
interviews for the newest member of his sales team and there was a lot on the
line. Nerves were normal.
What he saw as he passed the third
candidate, a twenty-something woman, neatly dressed and armed with her resume,
was not. “She was picking at her split ends,” Tally says, “Literally, snapping
off the ends of her hair and dropping them on the ground.”
“I hate to prejudge people, and I
knew she was completely unaware of what she was doing. But since the position
was my call I can say with absolute certainty that it cost her the job.”Costs You The Job Meghan Casserly Forbes
Staff
poker, you might call them ‘tells,’
says public speaking expert Matt Eventoff. “Many of
them are fidgets, for some people they’re grooming gestures or postural things
like a slouch.” In everyday life these habits are no big deal, he says. But in
an interview setting they can become a distraction, taking the hiring manager’s
focus off of your talents and onto your… bad hair day. “You’re in a
high-stakes situation with a stranger, he says. “There’s a lot of pressure and
an imbalanced power structure.” If there’s ever a time to get distracting (or
worse, offensive) habits under control, this is it.
Body Posture
The experts agree that aiming for a
neutral posture is your best bet. “Leaning back suggests boredom or lack
of interest,” says Karen Friedman, author of Shutup and Say Something: business Communication
Strategies to Overcome Challenges and Influence Listeners. “People
typically lean into a conversation when they like someone, so leaning back can
signal the opposite.
But beware overcorrection for your
lounging ways. Experts agree that leaning forward can be just as problematic,
as it can seem overly solicitous or even threatening. “Don’t crowd the
interviewer by leaning in too closely or over his or her desk,” cautions Amanda
Augustine, job search expert at TheLadders.com.
Instead, aim for a neutral spine,
says Eventoff. “Posture should be the classic ‘sit up straight,’” he
says, as if a string were tied from the top of your head to the ceiling. “It
seems so simple, but it’s amazing to me how many people ignore this important
advice,” says “charisma coach” Cynthia Burnham, whose
expertise is in helping top-tier executives polish their public appearances.
Standing or sitting up straight sends a message of self-assuredness—but it also
makes you appear taller, which around the world is seen as a sign of smarts,
confidence and credibility.
Physical Gestures
“Avoid chopping gestures,”
says Burnham. “Whole arm karate chop gestures can psychologically cut up the
space between you ad your interview in an aggressive way.” While not all of us
have a tendency to “karate chop,” there are variations of the martial arts
move. Pointing is often perceived as an aggressive motion and in some
cultures is considered incredibly rude. Eventoff says any fast, repeated or
aggressive hand gestures should be kept to a minimum.
As in posture, erring on the side of
caution in an interview setting can also be problematic. If you shove your hands
in your pockets, behind your back or even crossed in front of your chest
you run the risk of appearing closed off, stiff or belligerent. “You should
appear open and approachable,” says Friedman, “which means your hands should be
in front of you and ready to gesture naturally.”
Grooming Gestures
“Grooming gestures are common in
high-pressure settings,” says Eventoff. “It’s just nervous energy and a natural
desire to appear your best.” And for the most part, he says, they’re not even
an issue. These small movements or habits—playing with one’s hair,
fingernails and jewelry—only become a problem when they are a distraction
to the interviewer.
But Eventoff says these nervous
habits, which seem so intrinsic and unavoidable, are, in fact, the easiest to
kick—at least for the limited time window of a job interview. When I tell him
of the incredible urge I feel to repeatedly tuck my hair behind my ears when
stressed or uncomfortable (think: interviews, too-swanky nightclubs and dates
one through three), he tells me to pull my hair back. “I always tell people to avoid
rings, watches and jewelry for exactly this reason,” he says. “If it’s not
there, you won’t play with it. If you don’t play with it there’s no chance of
distracting your interviewer, which will keep his attention where it should be:
on your conversation.”
“I can say with certainty that the body
language I find to be the most damaging in an interview setting is facial
gestures,” Eventoff says. From eyerolls to staring to darting, beady looks, the
secret of successful interview communication is all in the eyes.
“Don’t stare,” says Augustine of TheLadders. “While it’s important to be
confident and look the interviewer in the eye, but locking eyes with someone for
an extended period of time can be interpreted as aggressive, not to mention a
little creepy.” Cynthia Burnham’s rule of thumb here is a good one. “We break
eye contact when we feel a connection kick in,” she says. The next time you
feel that “click,” she says, hold eye contact for just a moment longer and then
beak away. “Do this especially when shaking hands or meeting someone for the
first time,” she says. It shows just the right level of engagement—without a
whiff of creep.
Of course (and now this is becoming a familiar tune), avoiding all eye contact to keep from staring is also a bad tactic. Shifty, beady-eyed looks aren’t ones to be trusted, and the experts agree that a question answered while staring at a bookcase or glancing at your smartphone is an opportunity lost. “You’ve basically handed your interviewer a reason not to like you,” says Eventoff. “If your interviewer appears distracted during a meeting it may be rude, but it’s forgivable. If you appear distracted or disengaged, forget about it.”
Of course (and now this is becoming a familiar tune), avoiding all eye contact to keep from staring is also a bad tactic. Shifty, beady-eyed looks aren’t ones to be trusted, and the experts agree that a question answered while staring at a bookcase or glancing at your smartphone is an opportunity lost. “You’ve basically handed your interviewer a reason not to like you,” says Eventoff. “If your interviewer appears distracted during a meeting it may be rude, but it’s forgivable. If you appear distracted or disengaged, forget about it.”
In toto, the best bet for managing
your body in all of its quirky weirdness in an interview is to practice
moderation. Moderate posture, moderate gesturing and a moderate level of eye
contact are the neutral canvas you can use to tell your story—and to sell your
best self to win the job.
But the first step in fixing your
flaws is accepting them. If after all this advice you’ve found yourself
questioning your every move, you’re not alone. What are your bad habits? Are
you a hair tucker like me or a karate chopper or a sloucher? “Your friends
aren’t going to tell you this stuff unless you ask them,” Eventoff says. “And
even then, they might not want to offend you.
No, like in all things, you are your own best
and worst critic. Eventoff says to take the time to video a mock interview to
get a sense of your performance under pressure. Grab a good friend and your
smartphone and spend five minutes practicing answering questions on-camera
(Eventoff’s only tip is to take it seriously or you won’t project the right amount
of nervousness for your habits to kick in). Play it back and watch for habits
that might be distracting
1 comment:
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