If You Want A Successful Life, Be Determined About What You Want First

Daniel Owen van Dommelen

Coder, Director, Writer, Human

Being ambitious is all well and good, but without a clear idea of what it is you’re going for, you can end up lost and working non-stop without focus. Or maybe you know what you want to do, but you’re stuck on how to get there.

Here’s some ideas that will help you to hone in on what it is you really want, and how to get it. Because life is worth living when we’re psyched to be chasing our dreams. As Joseph Campbell said, “follow your bliss“; you will discover a life full of passion, drive, and most importantly, joy.

Become who you want to be, instead of just doing what you think you ought to do

The only way you will be able to truly follow your desires is by living them. If we are simply going through the motions, at work or when building that dream of ours, rather than living and practicing our values, we will find it very hard to be successful. This can be the difference between doing what you ‘should’, and doing what you actually want to do.

For example, if you only went to university because you’re ‘meant’ to, success is unlikely. You might even find a job that makes you a lot of money after your course, but this probably wouldn’t feel like a complete success. Success is living with meaning, being present in your life. All of the most successful people live fully in their lives and are unapologetic for who they are. They are sure of who they are because of the way they live.

Try writing down all of the things that you want to do that are fun to you, that are really going with ‘the flow’, where you feel alive doing them. These are the things to focus upon and grow. Make time for these things. Even just ten minutes a day can improve a skill dramatically.

Have a vision of your future, so you know where you’re going

When we don’t have a vision we can easily be swayed. Life and society has many directions it would like us to go in, and without a vision steering us towards where WE would want to go, it can be easy to get steered off with the crowd.

It’s not about being rigid in what we do next, or not taking opportunities when they appear. It’s about knowing yourself well enough to know whether any opportunities contribute to you and what you really want to do with your life, or if you’re just going along with the crowd.

One great thing you can do to create a vision of your own is to draw it. Drawing a future we like the look of improves the probability we will commit to moving towards it. And feeling we have a meaning in the now not only makes us happier, it gives us meaning, and that means we are already more successful than we were before.

If something isn’t worth the effort, you never really cared about it in the first place

As Elizabeth Gilbert says, you have to work out whether something is worth all the bother. -If you love doing something, you will love it enough to go through any difficulties that come along with it. Each time we are challenged, we ask ourselves ‘is it worth all this pain?’ and if the answer is ‘yes’, then you know you’re on the right track.

Often in life we find the answer is ‘no’, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, that’s just a part of the process of working out what is really important to you, and what you can let go of.

With this in mind, you can focus on what really matters to you. The more your focus becomes attuned, the better you become at doing what you love. The more time you dedicate to these things that really matter to you, the more you will get back from them at the end of the day.

Try changing something today so that you become just that little bit more invested in it. Perhaps that is beginning to play guitar for ten minutes a day, or finding a new way to surprise your wife, or finding a little time to practice self-care. Whatever it is, finding a way of practicing it, rather than complaining about what is holding you back, could be the way to make your dream a reality.

So, I challenge you today to see where your curiosity lies. Find what feels good to you in the moment. See where you want to be and what you want to be doing, this can help carve out not only your future, but who you want to be today and how you will spend your time. And that’s the most freeing thing of all, there is always now. What dreams will you start living today?

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