Posted by: tosin December 11, 2014
Here are 5 secrets that could potentially destroy your marriage if you continue to keep them:
1. Your overspending habit
This is a sticky subject because we are already part of a culture that does not like to talk about money. So many married people are spending, mindlessly, and their spouse has no idea what is going on. To build generational wealth, there has to be open communication. Even if the money your are spending is money you earned through the work you do, there is a serious problem if you feel the need to keep your expenses a secret.
This is a sticky subject because we are already part of a culture that does not like to talk about money. So many married people are spending, mindlessly, and their spouse has no idea what is going on. To build generational wealth, there has to be open communication. Even if the money your are spending is money you earned through the work you do, there is a serious problem if you feel the need to keep your expenses a secret.
2. Unprocessed childhood pain.
I know that sharing every detail of your childhood may be difficult and unnecessary, however, if something happened to you years ago and the pain from it is still impacting your life in a meaningful way, your spouse needs to know that. Knowing your spouse is hurt and having no idea why can damage a marriage, because at some point you start to wonder if you are the source of the pain, even if that pain existed long before you came along.
3. Friendships you have.
If you have a friendship, whether it’s with the same s*x or the opposite s*x, there is something strange going on if that friendship needs to be a secret. Examine why you are truly keeping it a secret and you are sure to reveal something with your marriage that needs to be addressed.
4. Your vision for your life.
If you dream of a life that is different than the one you are living, but you find yourself trying to be content with what you have because having more seems unreasonable, you have to talk to your spouse today. Nothing hurts a marriage more than dying dreams and feelings of resentment. Keeping your personal vision a secret will hurt in the long run.
5. What you do with your free time.
We are all entitled to free time. Spending time apart is needed for any healthy relationship. However, your time apart shouldn’t be spent doing things other than what you say you’ll be doing. If your husband thinks you are out shopping with your girls, you shouldn’t really be at a bar drinking by yourself. Or if your wife thinks you went to a football game with your boys, you shouldn’t really be at the casino gambling away your check. When you keep secrets about your whereabouts, there are deeper personal and marital issues you need to work though.
Being truthful all the time is hard stuff, but keeping a ton of secrets is ultimately much harder.
Source: Blackandmarriedwithkids
No comments:
Post a Comment