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Thursday 19 January 2017

Why do relationships or marriage break real fast nowadays?

Image result for black married coupleEditor's note: Lola Tenny, the NAIJ.com partner blogger, reveals six wrong signals men send unconsciously to their love partners and how they could be checked.
Lola could be contacted via her mail: b4b4sure@gmail.com
It has become an everyday discussion in the women’s world on some behaviour, actions or signals men send unconsciously but didn’t mean what it seems.
Recently, I saw a lady with a long face and asked why the face was like that. Her response was, “I have lost my best friend”. In my bid to understand her better, I inquired what she meant, then she gave me a list of things her boyfriend/best friend used to do but unconsciously stopped doing which has sent a wrong signal and now it’s affecting their relationship.
After sampling other ladies’ view on this topic, I came up with a list.
Here are list of things men do that sends the wrong signals:
1. Lack of communication
It is said that communication is the fuel of a relationship. When it dies or pauses, the relationship is at risk of breakup. Toyin said, “When we met, he was working as a bakery manager, so we had lots of communication but recently, he got a job with indomie as a marketing manager and all communication ceased. Even when I try to keep in touch, I get the silent treatment and when asked he says he forgot”.
Why do most relationships break up prematurely?
A couple in a disagreement situation
Always saying, I will call you back: “Each time I call and he says that, I feel dissed”, sobs Tola because those were the words my former boyfriend used when he was about to breakup with me”. This 5 letter words has caused so many ladies heart aches but unconsciously, the men folks are not seeing this. It sends a signal of, you are disturbing me or don’t you get it am breaking up with you?
2. Watching football at odd times
Football has become the devil most women fear nowadays more than another lady snatching their man. Patience said, “I wish I can sue DSTV, because they made football more accessible for guys. Tony would cancel our date because a football match is playing on the said day.” If you want to watch football so badly, take the lady with you.
3. Addiction to the Internet
The question still begs for an answer on whether the internet is a blessing or a curse. Since everything and everyone is now on the internet, our love, secrets, movements and events have being shared with more than one million people.
“Sometimes I feel like collecting his phone and smashing it on the wall. Even when we are together, his mind is divided. I had to threaten him to choose between the internet and me at one time”, Kate laments. Guys, when your lady is with you, give her all the attention she needs because she left all things to do just to be with you.
4. Self-centredness
“I love Benjamin but when it comes to intercourse, he is self-centred. I don’t know how to tell him without hurting his feeling. All he wants is his satisfaction and never ask if I am satisfied, Mariam admits”. Intercourse is a wonderful thing but when a man unconsciously takes away the fun in it, the women folks feel bad. A woman well pleasured, gives the most exciting intercourse.
5. Lack of romantic gestures
They say words not spoken makes the loudest sounds. Little gestures, helping hand, a peck-kiss, a sorry, a thank you, etc are but few of the things a woman wants from her man. “I was about to step out of the house on day, when I noticed my shoe was not polished. I was in a hurry but at the same moment, my boyfriend stepped towards me with a polish and brush, he knelt with one knee then bent over to polish my shoe. My heart melted and my love for him increased” says Teniola. A little gesture can make a whole lot of difference.
6. Breaking out of the friend zone
It is usually advised that a person should marry a friend. It’s believed that, marrying your friend makes the relationship easier since you both know each other’s likes and dislikes. Recently, a survey shows that, the amount of people breaking out of the friend zone to start a relationship ends both friendship and relationship in less than 3 months.
Why do most relationships break up prematurely?
“He was my best friend, and then we decided to start a relationship. It seemed awkward because, he changed totally and when we had intercourse, everything ended because it then seems that was all he wanted”. Women folks hate this now more than ever.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the editorial policy of NAIJ.com.
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