What are the top 5 things that I need to stay away from in my 20's? originally appeared on Quora: the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.
Answer by Andrew Ferebee, Founder of Knowledge For Men | 3x Best Selling Author, on Quora:
I made many mistakes in my 20s.
Ultimately, it all worked out for the best and today I have a life that I never thought was possible. But the results I have today could have happened a lot sooner if I'd avoided certain things.
Heed my warning and save yourself a lot of pain and heartache.
Enjoy...
1. Low-Status Friends
When I use the term low status friends, I'm not referring to their current financial status or their social status.
I'm referring to their personal status.
Low-status friends are friends who lack ambition, drive, and a desire to improve. They are negative individuals who play the victim card and blame others for their results.
Avoid these people like the plague.
If you want to succeed in your 20s and beyond, then remember one thing: If you show me your friends, I will show you your future. Who you hang out with becomes your destiny. So be careful who you allow into your inner circle and always seek to spend time around winners.
2. Codependent Relationships
Nothing will destroy you faster than a codependent relationship.
Whether you are the dependent (the person who uses relationships to find their self-worth) or the enabler (the person who stays with a dependent out of fear), you will sabotage your life and ruin your results. Period.
Relationships can be the jet fuel that propels you towards the life of your dreams or the anchor that keeps you stuck in the harbor.
In a healthy relationship there are two independent people who come together, bringing their unique skills and attributes to create a better life than either person could have on their own.
If you are in a codependent relationship, you need to sit down and asses things. If you can save the relationship by establishing boundaries and getting quality alone time, then do it.
If not, then move on with your life and do yourself a favor. End of story.
3. Hard Drugs & Alcoholism
I'm not one to judge, and I dabbled with more than my fair share of substances in my early 20s.
But there is nothing that will ruin your life faster than hard drugs and alcoholism. I'm not referring to a night cap or an evening joint. I'm talking about substances like heroin, cocaine, meth, and the like. Avoid these like the plague.
They will turn you into a shell of who you used to be and leave your life in the gutter without a dime to your name.
Just don't freaking do it!
4. Your Comfort Zone
If you want to live a great life, then you must avoid your comfort zone like a crazy ex with a butcher knife. No one ever achieved anything great by residing in their comfort zone.
We don't write stories about great men and women because they did what was easy.
Society rewards and recognizes those who do the hard things that are necessary to live a good life.
Look, everyone has the potential to be successful beyond their wildest dreams. But to do so, you must embrace the fact that successful people do hard things. They step out of their comfort zone and into the unknown. They boldly move forward and chart their own path.
Get the hell out of your comfort zone in your 20s and get into life.
5. "Normal"
If there's one thing that must be avoided more than anything else on this list it's "normal."
Normal is 5-figures in debt, living paycheck to paycheck, getting a divorce in your 30s, working a job you hate, and rocking a "Dad Bod."
Forget normal.
Normal is the antithesis of greatness, and if you want to be successful in your 20s, you will avoid it at all costs.
Don't do what other people do.
Don't spend your time the way that the masses do.
Don't buy the same crap, work the same jobs, or live the same lives.
As the old saying goes, "Do what others won't so that you can do what others can't."
Screw normal. Be exceptional.
Hope this helps. Stay grounded.
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